I'm a senior in a small highschool, and I have maybe only a couple close friends. It's very weird because I have a tendency to want to talk to them online everyday, and when I don't get to, I feel pretty lonely. Also I hang out with my friends and some other people I know that I'm not that close to. Everytime my friends leave the chat online, and I'm left alone, I feel kind of sad. And now, my friend is gonna hang out with the other people that I'm not too close to, and I'm not invited. So I feel kind of hurt. Please don't judge me. This is just a kind of outlet for me to express myself and get some feedback so that I can be still be happy, even when I'm alone. I need to be independent. But my question is why am I so sad when I'm left out of an outing that I wasn't invited to? Do you guys experience this sometimes? I feel so left out sometimes. I always ask where my friends went if they leave for a long time, because I want to know if they went to an event that I wasn't invited to. and i do have low self-esteem, and i do feel insecure about my weight (male). it may be impacting the way i act in public. please give me some good advice and a well though out one too. thank you so muchDependency on people? self-esteem advice too please?
i think maybe you see your friends as a security blanket
your not comfortable wit yourself so you use your friends as a means of escape for your insecurities. i never really felt like that but its understandable how you would feel left out and feel abandoned especially if you feel like your loosing your close friend. u need to look at yourself in the mirror and think about the postitive things about you and the impact u have on others. Physically u may not be happy wit how u look but spirtually u may be content. so if u cant change how u look physcially then try changing from within first. thru this way u will learn to let loose and be more easy going when it comes to meeting peopleDependency on people? self-esteem advice too please?
Form the message you have posted (your communication techniques) says a lot about who you are. One things for certain, your friends may or may not like you, however being your friend definately experience your expectations in different levels.
Above I was just trying to provide an insight into how others may feel when they are communicating with you or even in your presence. Everyone brings a certain amount of energy (not spiritual) into the room (be it chat room or cafeteria).
You have communicated the type of energy you feel and think about yourself.. though it was not mentioned whether you are like this infront of your friends, but the unspoken non-verbals may have been felt by your friends.
To keep it short, focus on what you really want my friend.
If you want to be confidence, focus on building a confident image, character and communication skills.
If you want to be more secure in terms of weight lost, focus on weight lost activities.
You my friend have had the answers all the while, and I quote:';It may be impacting the way I act in public..'; Thank this very good analysis of your current situation that you've concluded yourself and take action to self improve.
I get the sense that you are a bright boy (man) .. now divert some of your formulation and thoughts into driving ACTIONS STEPS that move towards building yourself as the boy/man everyone wants to hang out with. You have the answers all along!
i totally feel you... i used to have the same feelings. however, my situation is a little bit different! i'm a very confident person '; i'm nat saying you're not '; and i have many friends.... sometimes when i'm lonely these thoughts come up to my mind '; where is everybody at ? i know a lot of people, but where they at? why there's nobody with me at the moment? . this is so normal and i'm over it now and i'm 20... detach yourself... try to make everybody feel that you're happy with them or without them '; something it doesn't matter for you
good luck! and move forward .. try to build up yourself and read things that are helpful for you and your future! i recommend you read this book '; body language secrets ';
these feelings are quite normal if you have a very limited group of friends.. however i would advise you to try to be the one gaining leadership within the group.
there are meny ways of doing this, one of which is to detach yourself a little, not too much, but just enough to
let them know that they are not your only source of happiness. you can also look to meet some new people, even outside of school..
thirdly, and this might sound superficial, but try to look good, this will not only attract girls but will help you gain charisma with your male friends.. you don't have to buy expensive clothing for this, just work out a bit and wear things that you think look good on you, they dont have to look like everyone else's.. invent your own style
my last advice is to be yourself, people that try to act a certain way can be spotted a mile away
PS you're going to college soon so even if things dont get better, who cares! college is where you'll be making most of your friends and meet lots of girls
good luck :)
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