Married People: I need your advice. should i be angry at him?

I just called my bf and he is as drunk as a skunk. He typically doesn't act like this, but all of a sudden he has started his drinking. I can already see that this relationship won't be a serious one bc he's being a total idiot. Any who, I called him a few moments ago, and he told me that he a girl gave him his phone number. I asked him why he took it, and he said that he didn't want 2 be rude. Keep in mind he's totally drunk and out of his f*cking mind.





2 be honest with u, i feel deceived bc in the beginning of our relationship he made it look as if he was calm, secure and knows what he wants in life. Now all of a sudden he's turned into this partying binge drinking. He's driving while drunk and doing a host of other dumb things.





He had the audacity 2 say he loved me after the phone call, but as i said before he's drunk and out of his mind.





How should i bring this subject up in the morning w/o causing 2 much drama? He's so inebriated right now, that he can't explain himself.Married People: I need your advice. should i be angry at him?
There is no drama here. Tell him that you cannot have any relationship with a drunk a@@hole. Well, once in a month it may be okay, but if that is more frequent, then it ruins his life, and you do not want to live with a ruined person.Married People: I need your advice. should i be angry at him?
It sounds like he has a problem. He will not work on his problem until he hits bottom. Loosing you may be the incentive he needs to put himself back on track. However, that may be only one of many bad things his drinking causes before he decides to give it up.





http://www.aa.org/


http://www.alanon.org/
Surely you've heard the term 'Living Hell'; ? That's what you're headed for if you don't get far away from this loser and fast. And don't look back. No phone calls, e-mails, chats or letters. If he starts stalking you, call the police. Now go have a great life.
You gotta dump him....boyz act all good in the begining of a relationship and show their true self later on....it's better to dump him before he starts abusing you too because he is a drunk....
dump the loser. guys are always on their best behavior in the begining, but now he's showing you who he really is.
Stop wasting your time on this loser!!!!
leave him. he's not going to stop, and your going to put a lot of energy into dealing with this.
You might just tell him that he doesn't seem to be working hard toward a future and that's too bad, because he could be a good husband and father down the road. Since you are planning to grow up and be responsible and have a future, you could explain that it's hard to imagine your relationship going anywhere.
It's going to cause drama anyway, so why not bring up all the points you made here with him? You've already said it's not serious, he obviously changed life paths and it's not going to stop anytime soon.





It's HIS problem, not yours to solve, drunk or not, he's making poor choices, now it's time to make yours, either you accept him as is or you walk away.
You are right about this being a problem. It is too big of a problem for you to be committing your self to. Leave him alone until he really straightens out. And I don't mean over the weekend. You may think you can hang in there but there is no happiness for you and you certainly won't be helping him. He has to decide to help him self or nothing will work.


.
The number thing wouldn't concern me but him drinking would...Also the fact he isn't going anywhere. He may not even remember what he said to you if he was drunk and you talk to him tomorrow...Now its up to you if you can live with things how they are or are you willing to better your life and move on...Nothing like being with someone who has no goals, think about it before you do anything.
I'd drop this guy like a sack of hot potatoes...he's not going anywhere...and God only knows what will happen to him or others that may be on the same road as he is if he's drinking and driving....You kind of gave us the impression that you didn't really care for people acting like this...so before I got anymore involved with him...I'd just tell him I don't think we're going to work out...He's going to get himself killed or kill someone else...It's your choice...you can take a chance or go ahead and get out before he pulls you down with him...HH
Hi... sorry you're having a rough time...





You didn't say how long you've known this guy in your question. It typically takes 1-2 YEARS to get to know someone well enough to figure out whether we want to spend our lives with them, or if they are yet another idiot passing through our lives.





Binge drinking can be considered a form of alcoholism. I am a recovering alcoholic, and i was a binge drinker. Why did i do it? To escape life's issues and problems is the reason. And i also drove in an impaired condition and did some not-too-bright things...





You can't ';reason with'; a drunk... And your boyfriend may not even remember taking the phone number from a girl, either.





If you don't want to have to put up with this sort of lifestyle, then it's time to make some decisions.





I hope things work out.
Maybe he is going through something right now that you don't know about. If he is and he doesn't want to talk about it let it go. Don't make him talk about it. If he wants to drink for a month or two to get over it big deal. If he says nothing is wrong he just wants to drink than dump him and move on. This is obviously not the behavior you want in a man. Don't waste your time. Life is way too short. I would just say in the morning'; I noticed you are drinking alot more lately is there something going on thats bothering you?'; Then you can go from there. i wouldn't even bring up the other girls phone number until after you ask him if he's going through something first.
If you like how this guy acts, stick with him. If you do not like how he acts, let him go. It's that simple. No need for drama either way, unless you want the drama. You are the only person who can say what you want to do.





Notice I did not say, if you like how he acts when he isn't drunk, because there is no separating his drunken behavior from his sober behavior. It is all his behavior. He is the one who chooses to get drunk; therefore, he is the one who is chooses how he acts while drunk. You can't fix him, you can't get him sober. You can't expect him to get better, only worse. You will also notice that I said it was simple, but I did not say it was easy. It is not easy. It is a very tough situation. It is a hard thing to do, but you are strong enough.





You don't have to ask for an explanation of his behavior. If you decide to let him go, you can just say, ';I don't like how you have been acting lately, so I do not want to see you any more.'; You do not have to let the conversation get drawn out, keep it simple, don't explain yourself or try to justify it. You do not owe him explanations or more chances, any more than he owes you to not get drunk. I mean, yeah, in a perfect world, it would be nice, but he can't control you any more than you can control him.
Having a glass of wine with dinner: no problem. Having a beer on a Saturday night: no problem. Getting drunk and accepting another girls phone number: Big Problem. Drinking and Driving: Big Problem.





This is how the next 30-60 days will go. You will argue more often then not. He will be driving you insane. He will go out more often with each week that passes. You'll fight even more. You'll cry, you'll be hurt one of you will break it off.





Just cut to the chase. Break it off now before it gets ugly and tell him he is not the person you started dating. Tell him your heart is open and if he straightens out, you would love to move forward but you have no interest in living life this way. If he loves you, he'll stop. If drinking is more important to him then at least you get it over with now without the ugliness. You'll still cry, you'll still hurt but at least you'll avoid all the garbage in between. Be strong and good luck!