Advice about marriage from married people?

And by the way, I know marriage is just a piece of paper. But to me it is important. And if it is not that big of a deal to him, why won't he do it for me then if he loves me ';So'; much??Advice about marriage from married people?
re: why won't he do it for me then if he loves me ';So'; much??


%26gt;%26gt;%26gt; Because he sees it as 'just a piece or paper'........nothing more - why should he bother to marry you or anyone? He won't do it 'for you' because you don't mean that much to him. If you had some good relationship skills, you would know how to cope with him or just move on.





re: Do you think he is going to ask me or what do you feel about this?


%26gt;%26gt; I feel that you need to get a back bone, stand up for what you believe %26amp; want and stop being his little, helpless doormat. You are letting your self be USED and IMO, abused by a dishonest USER.Advice about marriage from married people?
Marriage IS NOT just a piece of paper.





Honey - whether or not you buy a house with him has nothing to do with whether or not he'll marry you. You're already living together like a married couple. If you aren't comfortable taking on half the financial burden of the home without being married, don't!





Will not buying in financially cause you split when the house is complete or will you move into it with him? Because I don't think buying a house with him is the issue. If you're going to continue to live with him anyway, you're going to have to get past the idea that he MUST marry you. You're either committed to the relationship or not.
Ugh. I read your whole question, but I just can't answer it because, as a man who has been married for 23 years, I am too deeply insulted by the ';marriage is just a piece of paper'; comment. Even you don't seem to believe it, so why do you repeat such nonsense? Marriage is important to you, as it would be to any sensible adult. Accept that. Embrace it. Stop letting this boyfriend make you question your values.
My husband and I bought our house the year before we got married to accomplish 2 things, 1) to get a major expense out of the way and to save for the wedding and 2) to see if we could live together before marriage. We both knew we were getting married, we discussed it and it was my husband not I who brought up the whole marriage thing. We were together for nine years before we married, we were very young when we met, and 20 years later we're still together. I always knew I wanted to be married and if my husband didn't want that was fine. I love him but I wanted a certain life and was not going to compomise my beliefs. Don't you do that either. No marriage, no house and I don't mean engagement ring either, I mean marriage. He doesn't sound like he's in too much of a hurry. Live in the house while he's paying for it, tell him when you're married you will be on board but not until. Hold your ground, never settle for second best
Well, he isnt ready to be married yet. You should do some research or talk to an attorney. If you love him so much and want to make it work, it really shouldnt matter if you are married or not. However, buying a house is a huge deal, maybe your not ready to buy (unless your married) and he is not ready to marry. You cant force someone to marry you and you cant force someone to buy a home.
You have a decision to make: Stay with your boyfriend and accept whatever he wants, or leave him and find someone who meets your qualifications.





There's really nothing else to consider here. If he's buying a house, and he wants you on the title, treat it like any other financial decision and don't worry if you're married or not.
If you are living together move out now. This is why a lot of men will not marry a woman, its a fear based relationship and could go on for years. Young scared males do this, wanting easy sex and some cheat bringing STD's in the mix. Be aware of this fact. So far as buying a home. He can buy the home on his own and once you both get married your name goes on the mortgage. Take your time don't get desperate with ultimatums, it only rushes things and he may not be the one. So move out get your own place, play the living together game no more. Make him work to spend time with you and if its love he will propose on bended knee.





Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free.
Dated 7 years prior and lived together 3 before marriage...





I would NEVER have purchased a house in our names before marriage. If he can afford to purchase the house and wants to live there and play house - great! But if both of you need to be a part of that transaction - I would say not without that marital commitment. It's a lot harder to argue out the property split in civil court then in divorce court...(if things were to end in a break up).





Don't sign anything together - loans, cars, houses, until you marry. CYA girl - CYA.
You are being played by someone who likes to be taken care of as good as you do. You saw this coming but put those blinders on anyway. Now you can't. And why should he marry you? You have been giving in on everything he says and does. come christmas what reason will he have to marry you that he doesn't' have now? That is called playing and playing big time and he's holding all the cards. Kind of lonely there, isn't it?
ive been with someone for almsot 5 years, and im moving to antoher country to be with him..the only reason im doing that is bcuz hes still in school and not in a position to get married until hes done ..which makes sense ..why do i wanna marry someone whose not financially stalbe yet....





but your case is different..if ur husband is stable enoguh to sign a mortagage, he obviously is in a position where he can marry oyu ...


but hes not ...i think you need to talk to him and figure stuff out ...it doesnt seem right....and no i dont think you should buy a house with him until you are married - - i agree with you
honey...don't sign off on the mortgage UNTIL he married you. Stick to your guns.





Oh..almost forgot..don't make ANY down payment or sign any conttract to purchase.
Don't take the step of buying a home or having children with this man until he is your husband (not just your fiance). If things go sour fighting over a house you bought when you were dating can get very ugly. Stick to your beliefs and don't sell yourself short because he may not be ready. If he isn't ready after 5 years it doesn't sound like he ever will be.





But step back and think about what he'd gain if he gave you that piece of paper and married you? I mean, you're already living together, paying bills together, sleeping together, so what exactly is it he's going to gain? He's already getting all the ';luxuries'; of marriage without the commitment. If you really want to find out how he feels move out of your place and live on your own and tell him you won't come back until you are husband and wife.
It really bothers me that he tells people he won't get married until he's 30. As if this personal promise to himself was more important then his love for you. I agree with the other posters, you've given in so far he thinks you'll given in again. Ask him what scares him in a marriage? If he needs a pre-nup agreement well get one! Let him move into his house...stay in that apartment. You've been doing the bending over so far, it's his turn now.
If I had my life to live over again I would NEVER shack up with a guy without getting married first! You are not respecting yourself by making that choice, and believe me, he doesn't respect you either!





Read this: http://www.drlaurablog.com/category/shac…





A woman who doesn't give the milk away for free is a happier woman! Don't waste your love on anything less than you deserve!!!





And marriage is NOT just a piece of paper! Marriage ROCKS and you are missing out big time!