But i am getting annoyed with everyone telling me ';its gonna be so hard for you bla bla';
I really do understand that its gonna be REALLY FREAKING HARD.
No one seems to get that.
I am pretty optimistic, and I dont complain about the baby coming as much as other people, so they think that i am just naive and i dont get what is happening.
so what is a polite way to ask them to shut the heck up and i get it?Weird question, how can i get people to stop giving me advice? [about new baby]?
It happens to all of us first time moms. I am 28, married, blah blah and we still got the ';A baby is a big responsibility, you know. A baby is hard work. You two must think about that.';. Oh and I hate the advice on how and where he should sleep, how often we should pick him up, what we should do when he cries, what he should eat, what I should diaper him with, whether or not I should work, whether we should vaccinate, circumcize, etc. Everyone feels like its their right to comment on those things just because they've done it before. I just nod and say ';oh, really? Interesting';, and then ignore it and forget about it.
You could also just say ';We know. We will be fine.'; and anytime anyone says anything say ';we know, we will be fine';. If you keep repeating that same line and cut off the line of conversation, change the topic, people will get the hint that you dont want to hear it. Just cut them off completely.
EDIT: Death to the Diaper Genie!!!!
EDIT #2: Baby Girl due 10-16-08... my MIL told me to get rid of my dogs too! What's wrong with these people lol!Weird question, how can i get people to stop giving me advice? [about new baby]?
I get that too, i get, ';you will bring the baby in bed with you despite what you say'; etc. And it really winds me up when people offer advice that is not asked for. You dont realise how opinionated people are until you get pregnant do you? I just say, everyone is different, my pregnancy, my baby is not going to be the same as everyone elses cos every baby and pregnancy is different so let me just see for myself how hard it is and how i cope. Say unless you are going to offer me some helpful advice on bringing up a child im really not interested. Dont worry about hurting their feelings as they are hurting yours by telling you this whilst your potentially emotional.
I have said many a times when people ask if im breast feeding or bottle feeding ';What would you suggest i do cos im sure you know best'; as i got so sick of the constant opinionated 'advice'
Unsolicted advice about pregnancy is a pain in the butt. Your age just seems to make people think that you need it that much more. On days you really don't want to put up with it try wearing a 'Statement Tee' like ';Stop staring at my belly'; or ';Did I ask for your advice?'; People tend to get the message and you appear humorous not rude.
Stick to your guns girl cause until your child out grows the diapers people are likely to tell you, i mean advise you on how best to raise your child
I had my first baby at 37 and I still got all the ';You have *no* idea how much it is going to change your life'; comments as though people wanted to reinforce how much we didn't know. Maybe they thought we were stuck in our selfish ways at our age. I remember my husband muttering ';Well, I would hope having a baby does change our life completely, otherwise what's the point?';. A good reply for the ';You don't know how much hard work it is'; might be ';Isn't everything worthwhile hard work?';. You sound like me, more happy to go with the flow rather than get all worked up and anxious in advance.
Anyway, I just wanted to say that we all get it, whatever our age, and I would try and hang out mostly with people that support you and believe in you.
Roxy
dont feel bad. you arent the only person in that situation.. just do you ya know!! cause guess what the only person thats gonna be happy at the end of the day is you! so dont worry about it.if you get it... then just do what you need to for your family and let it happen... so dont worry so much everything will be fine! i was pregnant at 21, and i am 23 and i am pregnant with my second child going to school and working is pretty hard.but dont let people get to you. My mom tries to tell me crap too, but you just got let it go sometimes ya know?? hang in there mama!
I can totally relate, it doesn't matter how old you are, people always think they are the only ones to ever have given birth! These people are so rude. My mom always told me that unsolicited advice is unwanted advice.
I started to distance myself from people like this, since nicely hinting didn't seem to work. Also, you can just add ';thank you for your opinion'; and immediately change the subject. Don't give any more worth to their comments.....most normal people would back off after this.
lol your asking for advice on how to stop advice lol. anyway they did the same thing to me when was pregnant at 19, and they will not stop. and if you tell them you dont need any advice you come off as a total bit**. they are just tryin to be helpful. usually it's older women who have been there before. and you should not entirely ignore all of them. it's not going to be a bowl of cream all the time no matter how optimistic you are. they are just being realistic based on life experience. if you dont want to hear it just nod and smile and dont worry about them.
There is no polite way to do it.
It'll suck, but you just need to smile, say ';thank you'; and change the subject. Yes, it would FEEL better if you weren't so nice but you'll very likely need help from MANY different people as you %26amp; your boyfriend get through this so now is not the time to give people a piece of your mind.
Good Luck.
Just politely say that, ';I know it is going to be hard but you know, it is going to be hard on me and not on you, so thank you for your advice.'; That should be enough to shut most people up but not so rude as to offend.
Hope this helps.
Congratulations!
It does not matter what age you are EVERYBODY gets this! When they ask you if its your first and you say yes and then the flood of advice comes in. You just have to learn to smile and nod your head! You will only get more and more unwanted advice once the baby is born. Good Luck.
This comes with being a parent and you just have to deal with it.
Doesn't matte how old you are, people will ALWAYS have opinions and stuff to say about you and how you plan to raise your kid.
Better get used to it now,
just politely say 'thank you for your advice but i already know and understand'
and they should back off lol
People have been giving us the same kind of unwanted ';advice'; too, and my husband and I are both in our 30's!
I think it makes some people feel righteous to be able to say ';you have no idea about the lack of sleep'; and ';you won't know what hit you'; constantly. Not to mention how many women tend to tell you how horrific birth is, and their stories of 72 hour labour, and delivering massive 20lb babies, which get more exaggerated each time they repeat them. Urgh.
Irritating as it is, I tend to smile politely, nod a few times, says something not specific like ';yes, it must be very difficult at first'; and then try to change the subject. After all, I'm sure they are only trying to help in their own way.
And I am making a mental note never to offer the same kind of ';advice'; to people after I've had the baby! ;-)
I hate to break it to you, but they won't stop, even if you do find a way to tell them.
I'm 19, almost 20, been on my own for 2 years, been with my fiance (who is 24 almost 25) for 3 years, and they will not stop doing the same thing to us.
I think it's just basically because they care, or because they want to see you fail. Either way, they don't stop.
My fiance's mother is basically the worst, constantly telling me what I need to do (breastfeeding, getting rid of my dog, etc.) and I get really really irritated by it. I know she means well, but it can be very frustrating.
All you can do is smile and politely find a way to let them know you'll be doing it the way you want to do it. And what I've come to realize is, it doesn't even matter because in the end, it's YOUR baby, and you'll raise him/her the way YOU want to =]
Good luck and congratulations =]
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