Serious advice needed baby daddy help!! are people capable of change? what to do?

okay so i have been a single parent for two in the half years now... two weeks ago i just bought a house and this monday i graduate from college....





my daughters dad stepped back into the picture as of the last couple of weeks .. he was keeping her on weekends for the last four weeks and he actually helped me move on Monday of last week and just left today after being at my house for three days…. He sort of has a girl, he doesn’t claim her, and she knows he doesnt really want her, but it is the same girl who he cheated on me with when I was pregnant, she knew me and she has stuck around for him; but he of course he is trying to be with me and my child still… I slipped up yesterday and gave in for the first time since myt daughter was born…I could not


Believe myself; do not know what I was thinking…he really doesnt have anything to offer but i want my daughter to have that fatherly figure around ..when he does come around i can say he tries to be a great dad. I don’t know if he sees my progress and just wants to be there because of it or if he is genuine this time….)… he has been cooking me breakfast before I wake up, took her on her field trip , unpacked and scrubbed the house down before I came from work…cooked me dinner two nights in a row.. I see the game but I can’t believe I fell for it…. And thing is I really don’t want to be with him… some part of me does then … its like all the hurt and the pain and single parenting dude has put me through wont erase … I will never forget it ….i have no clue what to do… but I want my house to myself and don’t want no ***** staying with me …..





is it capable for him to change his ways?


his laziness, lies and free loading?Serious advice needed baby daddy help!! are people capable of change? what to do?
You are a total success, congratulations!!!!!!!!!!


You are graduating college, you bought a house, and you are raising a child by yourself. That is more than most people can do.


I am concerned he may be trying to use your success for himself, as in trying to get a free ride off of your success. I would NOT take him back unless he proves that he has changed. For example, no girls, a good job, responsible parenting, and everything else. Don't take him back and think you can change him. He has to change himself first. If he doesn't, then he better hit the road.


If he wants to be a part of your child's life, make a LEGAL arrangement for that in family court.Serious advice needed baby daddy help!! are people capable of change? what to do?
You already know the answer. A real dad is there every day and every night. He is there when things are rough and when things are great. He is at least a 50% contributor to the household income. He is there when the child is sick. He is there when you are sick. He is committed to his family. Period.





Just because you might get lonely from time to time (we all do) don't let him mess up what you have accomplished for yourself.





Set an example for you child. Let your child see you as a fully capable, level headed source of inspiration and common sense.





You will find a man who will treat you respectfully ALL OF THE TIME and want the best for your child. This guy is not in it for the long haul. He just wants to play for a little while. Who cares who he consorts with? That's her problem to work out.





I hope the best for you. Good luck.
I think he is attempting to ride your good fortune and dedication and milk you for a free ride. Be smart. I know being a single mom is rough but you did school without him and when your beautiful baby was in the most need of care. Keep your head high and kick him to the curb.
If you think he is capable of change, make him work for it and prove it to you. Congratulations on graduation and all your success!





He is mooching off of you. Don't allow him to move in with you. You will regret it in the long run. Stay strong.
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Get rid of him!
He's no good and you deserve better. Don't settle. Get the best. It's out there. You are at a good spot in your life and he can see the advantages of it for him. Don't fall for it.
I was in a similar situation but on his side.I helped out/romanced dtr's mom for 10 yrs before the situation overwhelmed.(not parenting dtr but the half sibs are a nightmare) I ended up going for,and getting primary custody.Maybe you could offer a joint custody agreement(make sure you get that support $ too.)to him.That way,he gets to see the child and you don't have to live with him.You do have to put up with the cheating gf but she may not be a steady thing anyway, you say. Hope that helps.Always what's best for the child though.Good luck
You obviously have your ';stuff'; together which is good...you already have lived without him so you know you can...people can change, but be very, very careful...don't plunge in headfirst...good luck.