Experienced people - can u give me some advice please?

My fiance and I are so in love and everything between us is so good. We get on so well and are so happy together. We have so much in common and are soul mates. There is only one thing that is not perfect..we don't share identical views on if we will ever want kids or not. Sometimes I think I want them and sometimes I don't鈥o be honest I don't think I do. He, however, is quite certain that he would like to have them oneday. We love eachother so dearly but can't seem to be sure on this one. I don't know if I want them..he thinks he does. AT the moment, we are too young anyway and this would be something we decide in 5 - 10 years..when I know there is a possibility we might think differently. I would never want us to be apart..not even for 1 day..what do u think? Should we just forget about it now and cross that bridge one day in the future?Experienced people - can u give me some advice please?
You will very likely change your mind. Most people do. If that's your ONLY problem, don't even put too much thought n2 it right nowbcuz there's nothing u cando about it presently. Later on, you may decide you want o have at least one child, or that you want to adopt, if your concern is having to go through pregnancy and childbirth.Experienced people - can u give me some advice please?
Well....you are standing at the beginning of your relation.... you both love each other so much and can discuss this matter with each other in a more clear way.... as you say that you are too young and you will decide about it later... it seems that you are already have an intelligent thinking about it....in future it may possible that you both are having same views on this issue....so it is not a big problem as i think....just start your new life together and wait for the right time....








All the best for your new life





for further discussion....i am always here at:


vikastheone@rediffmail.com
WHY ARE YOU SO MUCH TRYING TO DISTURB THAT SO PERFECT LOVE ? As you said, you're so young to think about that matter which is so far away from your interests and concern right now. So, don't disturb this ';so beautiful ';relationship. Mind you: things so perfect aren't from this world. perfection is not human. You so much need to grow up a bit before thinking of having children. Concentrate both of you on your so loved one.
I've known a lot of couples who have gotten divorced with that being a big issue. Including me and my first wife. I thought she'd change her mind but she didn't. It certainly wasn't the only issue in each case. I think the big issue was me thinking she would change on a number of things and her thinking I would. We were married pretty young (22). I would seriously recommend couple's counciling, even BEFORE you get married. I think everyone should do that.
there is a huge difference between not wanting children


and not being able to have any.


The first is total control and the second one is total agony.


Do not let yourself in the position when you will be in agony, because of certain decisions you made before.
I'm 29 and my husband is 37. We've been married over 2 years now and I told him from the start that I don't want kids. He said he's fine with it either way.





As long as your fiancee is OK with never having them, it's fine to proceed with your plans. If he simply must have them, then the relationship won't work unless you change your mind. Determine your priorities.
While you are young, you have plenty of time to cross that bridge when you come to it. Our feelings change so much as we mature; who knows how you will feel about children in five years time. Even if you stay together, and at 5o he still wants kids, it's not too late for him to start a family with someone else then, so it's no biggie.
A friend of mine and his wife recently divorced over this issue after a few years of marriage. While dating, they talked about it, and at that time his wife-to-be wasn't sure but thought she probably would want to have children. My friend also was not sure but he thought that he probably would not want any. After marriage, their views solidified. His wife decided she did want a baby and my friend decided that he did not. They had no choice but to divorce.





Ignore the people telling you that you can compromise. How can you compromise on children? You can't have half a child, nor have a child half of the time -- you either have one or you don't! This issue is one of the most important issues to address before marriage -- for many people it absolutely is a deal breaker. Do not get married without having at least a tentative plan.
Leave it alone until 5 to 10 yrs from now.Then discuss this.Years from now you will beable to make this dicission when you are older like you said.
This is a major difference.





If you cannot agree about children, you probably shouldn't get married. You would only feel pressured and he would only feel deprived.
to answer this question, i would need to know how old you an your ';fiance'; are...
Talk it over with him.





Would he be devastated if you didn't have children? If not then you should have smooth sailing.





Good Luck!
Don't split up because you guys are conflicting about children, there is always compromise, and thats what relationships are about. In five years, you may feel differently, and you might be ready to have a baby, if you and him are not ready to have children now, let it go until you are ready. There is no use talking about something NOW that isn't going to happen for a while. Keep it in the back of your mind for the future, and focus on being in love and enjoying every minute of your fiance, NOW!! Good luck.
Live every day as it comes and cross that bridge when you come to it!! As you said you are too young yet for kids, your probably concentrating on your career etc.... so maybe because you feel are too young at the minute, is why you are thinking you dont want any kids in the future! Leave it for now and dont stress about it!! concentrate on being happy with you fiance and enjoying each others company!! xx