Any advice on how to cope around drunk people?

My mother died eight years ago from liver failure brought on my severe alcohol misuse. As a result, I have suffered a very difficult childhood, during her drinking and also after her death. Admittedly, I used to drink - I started going to house parties at the age of 14 and only gave up drinking heavily a short while ago, as I finally came round to realising just how stupid it all is.





However, I am beginning to find that the repercussions of being around drunk people are getting too much for me to cope with. Wherever I go, I cannot get away from people's drinking. My father has a habit of drinking unnecessarily large amounts quite frequently, most of my friends are into going out and getting drunk, and my boyfriend's family - whom I come into contact with regularly - are not impartial to getting drunk either. My immediate reaction to my discomfort used to be to get drunk myself, to keep up with them so that I would relax, but now that I'm not drinking, it's so challenging to be around something that I feel like I can't escape. When I am around drunk people, I shake uncontrollably, stutter (occasionally), get a stomach ache and feel very, very sick (but have never actually thrown up because of this). Because of people's drinking, I find it increasingly difficult to willingly go out in the evenings now, and I get stupidly obsessive over how much my boyfriend drinks, even when I'm not there. I hate feeling so controlling over him and really don't want to feel like I'm monitoring him but I really can't help it!





I just don't have a clue how to handle this anymore, and I'm scared that this will only get worse as I get older. Does anyone have any advice about how I might be able to cope better?





Please be aware that this is a very sensitive issue for me to discuss and so I would be very grateful if you would answer accordingly. xAny advice on how to cope around drunk people?
I feel very sorry for you, my mum is an alcoholic too and my childhood was terrible. I also used to drink quite heavily, I have cut down though and now I'm an occasional drinker. I think you should seek counselling, I'm no expert but it sounds as if you are haunted by your memories of drunk people. I haven't experienced what you have, but I do feel guilty for having a drink, even if it's just one glass of wine, I'm frightened to death of turning out like my mum. I'm sorry I can't give you any further help, but I do know what alcoholism does to you so if you ever fancy a chat, send me an e-mail xxxAny advice on how to cope around drunk people?
so SORRY U HAVE TO DEAL WITH THIS AS I AM GUESSING HERE BUT I IMMAGINE U R QUITE YOUNG, BUT U NEED 2 CHANGE UR SOCIAL ACTIVITIES,[IE] FRIENDS WHO DRINK] TRUST ME I AM PROBABLY A LOT OLDER THAN U AND HAVE A ALCHOHOL ISSUE MYSELF NOT BAD BUT COULD BE BETTER. GO JOIN A GYM OR SOME CLUB OR SOMETHING LOVE WE R ONLY HERE ONCE. GOOD LUCK. TRUST ME IT CAN B DONE.
First step - don't worry about when you're older. Just deal with the present moment. (FYI things usually get easier to ignore when you're older.)





At this time, you are seriously traumatized by people's drinking.





It is okay to avoid people who drink. Be around them as little as possible. Leave the house when the drinking starts. PLENTY of people who are now sober do this. It's not something you have to steel yourself to be around. Avoid it and don't worry about whether you're ';too sensitive'; or whether people ****** about it. Put your sobriety first. I certainly don't hang around scenes that are traumatic to me. I leave them. If people don't like it, that is okay with me.
I can understand why you feel like that after your parent's problems because other people's drunkenness must bring up the same feelings you had back then, I think the best thing is to get some counselling, you can probably find a specialist in this area via your local alcoholics anonymous service
i must admit i am an alcoholic myself but when i am not drinking and other people are drinking i usually just watch them make an idiot of themselves i realise this is a bit hippacricial as i do make an idiot of myself when i get drunk but i do watch them anyway like just recently my sister is considering having a massive piss up for her 21st i dont know whether to show or not i might have a few beers but not enough to get myself drunk and then walk off and let everyone else get absoloutly smashed and make an idiot of themselves while i catch up on some sleep
Maybe therapy is in order. You are letting the past control you now. You can't expect the others to have such an aversion to alcohol like you. I know when I was pregnant and not drinking it was difficult to be around people drinking. I had to change myself. I chose not to hang out with them. I would go to movies, read books, go to the gym, or just go out to dinner. Try to do things that do not involve alcohol. I would drink non alcoholic beer and ';pretend'; like I was partying with them. You may need to avoid the other people for a while until you can control your own emotions.
You need to let people know that drinking is an issue for you and why. Try not to put your self in positions where alcohol is, and heavy drinkers hang out. You are trying to clean up your life to improve your health, and don't want to see others hurting their health. Your friends and family may not change their actions, but atleast they will know where you stand, and if you decide not to hang out with them...they'll know why. Tho many people that drink heavily will become alcoholics...not all will. Many go through the drinking stage as teens and 20's. most will learn to be responsible regarding drinking. Unfortunately is all around us, and can't be totally controlled, you can control where you go. I commend you on your choices. Be strong. Hope this helps...
I understand exactly what you are feeling when around drinkers. It is to do with your past experiences and you can only come to terms with all of this if you go to some meeting for ..adult children of Alcoholics..these meetings will help you have a better understanding of what you are experiencing...or you could go for therapy to someone you specialises in Alcoholism. I just refuse to be around drunk people..I like a drink but I don't like a drunk person..even if they make a nice drunk I still don't want to be around them... Keeping drunks out of my life is the only way I can deal with it. I works for me but I don't know if it will work for you. You really need to come up with some way of dealing with all of this . I really think therapy is the answer .