im a certified nursing assistant and am pregnant with my first child. The place where i work has a very heavy load of patients who are very large. The problem is i cant be lifting 200 pound men alone, and when i call for help no one helps me. Im so upset every time i come home from work and i feel like crying at work. Im about to have my dr put me on light duty for work. No one will help me so wouldn't you ask to be put on light duty?Need some advice from you ladies about my job, people arent being so nice to me :(?
Absolutely you should be put on light duty. Your first responsibility is now to your child and if you think lugging around 200 pounds of anything will put your baby at risk then you need to transfer duties.
And anyone in the health profession should support this decision. Shame on them for not helping a pregnant woman lift something heavy!!Need some advice from you ladies about my job, people arent being so nice to me :(?
i am also a cna but i did home health when i was pregnant i had to quit because i also couldnt lift patients. im sure you know in most nursing homes the workers dont want to help patients muchless a fellow employee so if i were you i would either tell your charge nurse(haha) and if shes no help and you have to work thru pregnancy try an assisted living place where they arent totally bedridden and you dont have to lift. good luck!!
first go to your supervisor and tell him that if he needs you to stay on regular duty someone needs to be able to help you when you call (and if you don't get that help even with light duty then you will be put on bed rest because of the stress and won't even be able to work anyway and it seems like they would like having you there and not be one person down)
Oh most defo , They HAVE to help you or id be frog marching to the manager/boss to mention it.
How far pregnant are you? maybe if you are not showing they dont realise as believe it or not people act differently when your actually showing its like they suddenly believe you .
You defo need to have a word with the boss hun %26amp; yes get yourself that light work note !
good luck %26amp; congrats x
You should discuss this issue with your doctor. If this is a job you were doing before you got pregnant and your pregnancy is going along well, there may not be any reason you can't continue doing it as usual. Generally, with a healthy pregnancy, problems are more common when you do things that you aren't used to doing. If you feel uncomfortable doing the lifting than instead of calling for help, you should speak to your supervisor about your concerns. I am sure the other nursing assistants have their own patients to lift so perhaps a schedule needs to be made that allows for another assistant to help you lift than you can give some of your time to help them do something, too. You may be going about asking for help in the wrong way. I think you should speak with your doctor and your supervisor to see what can be worked out. ADDED: When you went to your supervisors was it just to complain or did you approach them with some type of plan? Perhaps they didn't say anything because it seemed like you were just venting. Be specific and say you need help lifting and you'd like their help working out a solution. Offer some suggestions. Put yourself in another person's position. If a fellow nursing assistant was pregnant and needed help lifting what would you be willing to do to help her? Could you job share with one of the other assistant's so he/she could help you lift and than you help do some of their work? Perhaps 2 of you could take care of the same number of patients and work together to do all the tasks.
Friday, April 30, 2010
ARMY PT question im sure other people have probably asked before.....need advice though...?
ok i have a ARMY PT test on saturday and i always have had trouble with the 2 mile like alot of other people....ive been getting on the eliptical at the gym and lifting for my arms etc...i kinda dont feel THAT confident on my run though...i know i have gotten better but Ive always been a big guy...so is there anything i can do at the house aside from run outside to help my runtime go down? Any other tips would be great...even the basics...ARMY PT question im sure other people have probably asked before.....need advice though...?
A couple of NCOs that I have known have had some bigger guys wrap their torsos in ceran wrap during the day or while they sleep. But that is an extreme method. Increase your miles you run and your time on the weekend.ARMY PT question im sure other people have probably asked before.....need advice though...?
With a PT test in 2 days, there is nothing you can do now that will improve your time beyond what your body is already capable of. In other words, you cannot turn water into wine, but you may be able to make the water less polluted.
The best advice that I can give you is to get a good nights rest the night prior, eat a healthy meal, stay plenty hydrated, and stretch well the day prior.
For future advice, if you want to improve your run time, you need to get out there and run. Everyone is always trying to look for the magic machine or the easy way to get better without actually working for it. If you know that running is your weak area, then concentrate on running and skip some lifting. There really is no substitute for running though it is good to cross train with things like squats, swimming, exercise bikes, elliptical, etc. However, starting to do any of those with only 2 days to go will only hurt you at this point.
Today is Wednesday so really you need to focus on the mental versus the physical I would say. I don't run but I bike ride and certain songs give me a pump even when I'm not listening to them on ipod just hearing them in my head. If you can figure out what a couple of those songs are write them down and think about them or listen to them when you have to do the real thing. I know this sounds cheesy but it makes a difference for me between my being blah or kicking ***
If you want to get better at running, then you need to run. Getting on the elliptical and lifting weights makes you better at the elliptical and lifting weights, not running.
The best way to improve your running is to run. And that means to run outside. Vary your routine to include sprints, 2 mile runs, and 4 mile runs. In my peak days, my weekly program went like this:
Mon: 2 mile run
Tues: Sprints (Sprint 200m Jog 200m for 2 miles)
Wed: 2 mile run
Fri: 4 mile run
I would also work calves as well if you don't already lift weights, but it sounds like you do. Calves are primarily slow twitch muscles so you may want to try a variety of exercises.
i have alwaysdrank and smoked while in the army. while running i just enjoyed the sights and this kept my mind off of pt i didnt seem to be gasping for air. also , time flew by. good luck lou
Make sure when you run you use your arms to help pump you. Keep your stride open.
You can get a jump rope that will help with endurance and cardio.
Try to focus on something far in the distance when you run.
When you are on your way to the end try to sprint it out. If you have someone that runs slightly faster than you try to keep up with that pace.
Lose weight. And by no means am I saying you are fat. During your run you should concentrate on breathing and think about something other then running. Also like the other person said... running is good practice for running the elliptical is not. Good Luck
Well there is nothing you can do before sat that will matter.
But you can jump rope, that will increase your cardio and also let your knees and legs adjust to the pounding that happens when you run.refill
A couple of NCOs that I have known have had some bigger guys wrap their torsos in ceran wrap during the day or while they sleep. But that is an extreme method. Increase your miles you run and your time on the weekend.ARMY PT question im sure other people have probably asked before.....need advice though...?
With a PT test in 2 days, there is nothing you can do now that will improve your time beyond what your body is already capable of. In other words, you cannot turn water into wine, but you may be able to make the water less polluted.
The best advice that I can give you is to get a good nights rest the night prior, eat a healthy meal, stay plenty hydrated, and stretch well the day prior.
For future advice, if you want to improve your run time, you need to get out there and run. Everyone is always trying to look for the magic machine or the easy way to get better without actually working for it. If you know that running is your weak area, then concentrate on running and skip some lifting. There really is no substitute for running though it is good to cross train with things like squats, swimming, exercise bikes, elliptical, etc. However, starting to do any of those with only 2 days to go will only hurt you at this point.
Today is Wednesday so really you need to focus on the mental versus the physical I would say. I don't run but I bike ride and certain songs give me a pump even when I'm not listening to them on ipod just hearing them in my head. If you can figure out what a couple of those songs are write them down and think about them or listen to them when you have to do the real thing. I know this sounds cheesy but it makes a difference for me between my being blah or kicking ***
If you want to get better at running, then you need to run. Getting on the elliptical and lifting weights makes you better at the elliptical and lifting weights, not running.
The best way to improve your running is to run. And that means to run outside. Vary your routine to include sprints, 2 mile runs, and 4 mile runs. In my peak days, my weekly program went like this:
Mon: 2 mile run
Tues: Sprints (Sprint 200m Jog 200m for 2 miles)
Wed: 2 mile run
Fri: 4 mile run
I would also work calves as well if you don't already lift weights, but it sounds like you do. Calves are primarily slow twitch muscles so you may want to try a variety of exercises.
i have alwaysdrank and smoked while in the army. while running i just enjoyed the sights and this kept my mind off of pt i didnt seem to be gasping for air. also , time flew by. good luck lou
Make sure when you run you use your arms to help pump you. Keep your stride open.
You can get a jump rope that will help with endurance and cardio.
Try to focus on something far in the distance when you run.
When you are on your way to the end try to sprint it out. If you have someone that runs slightly faster than you try to keep up with that pace.
Lose weight. And by no means am I saying you are fat. During your run you should concentrate on breathing and think about something other then running. Also like the other person said... running is good practice for running the elliptical is not. Good Luck
Well there is nothing you can do before sat that will matter.
But you can jump rope, that will increase your cardio and also let your knees and legs adjust to the pounding that happens when you run.
How to get away from negative people/friends. I really need some advice here :/?
okay, my boyfriend's (ricky) friends are absolutely driving the both of us insane. we just don't know what to do.
to keep it short- age ranges from 18-23. a 'normal' night is sitting in the basement of one of the boys houses, which is smoke filled, smelly, dirty, musty. No one ever has money to do anything. me %26amp; ricky like going out to dinner , mini golf, the movies, someone else's house, hanging out at the bar, going out somewhere nice, etc. we don't mind spending money- everyone else does. they can't plan a single event without fighting or being late. we just don't know how to handle it. how do you just get away from this slowly %26amp; painfully? i feel like these friends can ruin our positive %26amp; healthy relationship if we continue hanging out with them. it's terrible, and i feel bad because they have been friends for years.
i don't want to be the girlfriend who ';takes him away from his friends'; this is all him. i just agree with it.
any help/suggestions/advice is really appreciated.
Thank you!!!!!!!!(:How to get away from negative people/friends. I really need some advice here :/?
BF needs to make plans and then inform friends they are welcome to go. He needs to stick to it and they will either go or stay and eventually all things will change.
to keep it short- age ranges from 18-23. a 'normal' night is sitting in the basement of one of the boys houses, which is smoke filled, smelly, dirty, musty. No one ever has money to do anything. me %26amp; ricky like going out to dinner , mini golf, the movies, someone else's house, hanging out at the bar, going out somewhere nice, etc. we don't mind spending money- everyone else does. they can't plan a single event without fighting or being late. we just don't know how to handle it. how do you just get away from this slowly %26amp; painfully? i feel like these friends can ruin our positive %26amp; healthy relationship if we continue hanging out with them. it's terrible, and i feel bad because they have been friends for years.
i don't want to be the girlfriend who ';takes him away from his friends'; this is all him. i just agree with it.
any help/suggestions/advice is really appreciated.
Thank you!!!!!!!!(:How to get away from negative people/friends. I really need some advice here :/?
BF needs to make plans and then inform friends they are welcome to go. He needs to stick to it and they will either go or stay and eventually all things will change.
Can any of you lovely people help out with video-editing advice?
I make videos for YouTube using various video editors, and have them all stored on my hard drive. Today upon trying to play them on my media player, I found that four of them will not play any longer. Yesterday they played fine, and so I'm totally confused!
I have about twenty videos all up, and the four of them that no longer seem to function have the common denominator of all being made with the PowerDirector video editor, which I am trialling for a month. I have eight days left on the trial and assume this should not affect the videos that have already been produced and saved to the hard drive.
These four from PowerDirector were saved in MPEG4, whereas most of the others were AVI. But I doubt this could be the problem because there are at least two others (from different video editors) in MPEG4 that are still playing normally.
Does anyone know what on Earth has happened to my videos? I put so much painstaking work into those four and I want them back, darn it!!!
Any help will be greatly appreciated. :)
Thanks!
Can any of you lovely people help out with video-editing advice?
Windows Media Player does not support MP4 playback you need to install a MP4 Codec
Please read here:
http://www.tech-faq.com/windows-media-pl鈥?/a>
Codec Installation Package for Windows Media Player 7.1 download:
http://download.microsoft.com/download/5鈥?/a>
Save the file to Install in XP/Vista right click on the file, then click on Properties%26gt;Compatibility%26gt;In run this program in compatibility mode for%26gt;select Windows 2000%26gt; Click Ok. Then double click to install now you should be able to watch MP4's in windows media player :) Can any of you lovely people help out with video-editing advice?
that means CODES problems.....
download media player classic .....here
then install it .......it can play all type of video ....
http://www.free-codecs.com/Media_Player_鈥?/a>
You may need to find an all-in-one video editing program on http://www.videoeditorsoft.com/
I have about twenty videos all up, and the four of them that no longer seem to function have the common denominator of all being made with the PowerDirector video editor, which I am trialling for a month. I have eight days left on the trial and assume this should not affect the videos that have already been produced and saved to the hard drive.
These four from PowerDirector were saved in MPEG4, whereas most of the others were AVI. But I doubt this could be the problem because there are at least two others (from different video editors) in MPEG4 that are still playing normally.
Does anyone know what on Earth has happened to my videos? I put so much painstaking work into those four and I want them back, darn it!!!
Any help will be greatly appreciated. :)
Thanks!
Can any of you lovely people help out with video-editing advice?
Windows Media Player does not support MP4 playback you need to install a MP4 Codec
Please read here:
http://www.tech-faq.com/windows-media-pl鈥?/a>
Codec Installation Package for Windows Media Player 7.1 download:
http://download.microsoft.com/download/5鈥?/a>
Save the file to Install in XP/Vista right click on the file, then click on Properties%26gt;Compatibility%26gt;In run this program in compatibility mode for%26gt;select Windows 2000%26gt; Click Ok. Then double click to install now you should be able to watch MP4's in windows media player :) Can any of you lovely people help out with video-editing advice?
that means CODES problems.....
download media player classic .....here
then install it .......it can play all type of video ....
http://www.free-codecs.com/Media_Player_鈥?/a>
You may need to find an all-in-one video editing program on http://www.videoeditorsoft.com/
Any advice on how to cope around drunk people?
My mother died eight years ago from liver failure brought on my severe alcohol misuse. As a result, I have suffered a very difficult childhood, during her drinking and also after her death. Admittedly, I used to drink - I started going to house parties at the age of 14 and only gave up drinking heavily a short while ago, as I finally came round to realising just how stupid it all is.
However, I am beginning to find that the repercussions of being around drunk people are getting too much for me to cope with. Wherever I go, I cannot get away from people's drinking. My father has a habit of drinking unnecessarily large amounts quite frequently, most of my friends are into going out and getting drunk, and my boyfriend's family - whom I come into contact with regularly - are not impartial to getting drunk either. My immediate reaction to my discomfort used to be to get drunk myself, to keep up with them so that I would relax, but now that I'm not drinking, it's so challenging to be around something that I feel like I can't escape. When I am around drunk people, I shake uncontrollably, stutter (occasionally), get a stomach ache and feel very, very sick (but have never actually thrown up because of this). Because of people's drinking, I find it increasingly difficult to willingly go out in the evenings now, and I get stupidly obsessive over how much my boyfriend drinks, even when I'm not there. I hate feeling so controlling over him and really don't want to feel like I'm monitoring him but I really can't help it!
I just don't have a clue how to handle this anymore, and I'm scared that this will only get worse as I get older. Does anyone have any advice about how I might be able to cope better?
Please be aware that this is a very sensitive issue for me to discuss and so I would be very grateful if you would answer accordingly. xAny advice on how to cope around drunk people?
I feel very sorry for you, my mum is an alcoholic too and my childhood was terrible. I also used to drink quite heavily, I have cut down though and now I'm an occasional drinker. I think you should seek counselling, I'm no expert but it sounds as if you are haunted by your memories of drunk people. I haven't experienced what you have, but I do feel guilty for having a drink, even if it's just one glass of wine, I'm frightened to death of turning out like my mum. I'm sorry I can't give you any further help, but I do know what alcoholism does to you so if you ever fancy a chat, send me an e-mail xxxAny advice on how to cope around drunk people?
so SORRY U HAVE TO DEAL WITH THIS AS I AM GUESSING HERE BUT I IMMAGINE U R QUITE YOUNG, BUT U NEED 2 CHANGE UR SOCIAL ACTIVITIES,[IE] FRIENDS WHO DRINK] TRUST ME I AM PROBABLY A LOT OLDER THAN U AND HAVE A ALCHOHOL ISSUE MYSELF NOT BAD BUT COULD BE BETTER. GO JOIN A GYM OR SOME CLUB OR SOMETHING LOVE WE R ONLY HERE ONCE. GOOD LUCK. TRUST ME IT CAN B DONE.
First step - don't worry about when you're older. Just deal with the present moment. (FYI things usually get easier to ignore when you're older.)
At this time, you are seriously traumatized by people's drinking.
It is okay to avoid people who drink. Be around them as little as possible. Leave the house when the drinking starts. PLENTY of people who are now sober do this. It's not something you have to steel yourself to be around. Avoid it and don't worry about whether you're ';too sensitive'; or whether people ****** about it. Put your sobriety first. I certainly don't hang around scenes that are traumatic to me. I leave them. If people don't like it, that is okay with me.
I can understand why you feel like that after your parent's problems because other people's drunkenness must bring up the same feelings you had back then, I think the best thing is to get some counselling, you can probably find a specialist in this area via your local alcoholics anonymous service
i must admit i am an alcoholic myself but when i am not drinking and other people are drinking i usually just watch them make an idiot of themselves i realise this is a bit hippacricial as i do make an idiot of myself when i get drunk but i do watch them anyway like just recently my sister is considering having a massive piss up for her 21st i dont know whether to show or not i might have a few beers but not enough to get myself drunk and then walk off and let everyone else get absoloutly smashed and make an idiot of themselves while i catch up on some sleep
Maybe therapy is in order. You are letting the past control you now. You can't expect the others to have such an aversion to alcohol like you. I know when I was pregnant and not drinking it was difficult to be around people drinking. I had to change myself. I chose not to hang out with them. I would go to movies, read books, go to the gym, or just go out to dinner. Try to do things that do not involve alcohol. I would drink non alcoholic beer and ';pretend'; like I was partying with them. You may need to avoid the other people for a while until you can control your own emotions.
You need to let people know that drinking is an issue for you and why. Try not to put your self in positions where alcohol is, and heavy drinkers hang out. You are trying to clean up your life to improve your health, and don't want to see others hurting their health. Your friends and family may not change their actions, but atleast they will know where you stand, and if you decide not to hang out with them...they'll know why. Tho many people that drink heavily will become alcoholics...not all will. Many go through the drinking stage as teens and 20's. most will learn to be responsible regarding drinking. Unfortunately is all around us, and can't be totally controlled, you can control where you go. I commend you on your choices. Be strong. Hope this helps...
I understand exactly what you are feeling when around drinkers. It is to do with your past experiences and you can only come to terms with all of this if you go to some meeting for ..adult children of Alcoholics..these meetings will help you have a better understanding of what you are experiencing...or you could go for therapy to someone you specialises in Alcoholism. I just refuse to be around drunk people..I like a drink but I don't like a drunk person..even if they make a nice drunk I still don't want to be around them... Keeping drunks out of my life is the only way I can deal with it. I works for me but I don't know if it will work for you. You really need to come up with some way of dealing with all of this . I really think therapy is the answer .
However, I am beginning to find that the repercussions of being around drunk people are getting too much for me to cope with. Wherever I go, I cannot get away from people's drinking. My father has a habit of drinking unnecessarily large amounts quite frequently, most of my friends are into going out and getting drunk, and my boyfriend's family - whom I come into contact with regularly - are not impartial to getting drunk either. My immediate reaction to my discomfort used to be to get drunk myself, to keep up with them so that I would relax, but now that I'm not drinking, it's so challenging to be around something that I feel like I can't escape. When I am around drunk people, I shake uncontrollably, stutter (occasionally), get a stomach ache and feel very, very sick (but have never actually thrown up because of this). Because of people's drinking, I find it increasingly difficult to willingly go out in the evenings now, and I get stupidly obsessive over how much my boyfriend drinks, even when I'm not there. I hate feeling so controlling over him and really don't want to feel like I'm monitoring him but I really can't help it!
I just don't have a clue how to handle this anymore, and I'm scared that this will only get worse as I get older. Does anyone have any advice about how I might be able to cope better?
Please be aware that this is a very sensitive issue for me to discuss and so I would be very grateful if you would answer accordingly. xAny advice on how to cope around drunk people?
I feel very sorry for you, my mum is an alcoholic too and my childhood was terrible. I also used to drink quite heavily, I have cut down though and now I'm an occasional drinker. I think you should seek counselling, I'm no expert but it sounds as if you are haunted by your memories of drunk people. I haven't experienced what you have, but I do feel guilty for having a drink, even if it's just one glass of wine, I'm frightened to death of turning out like my mum. I'm sorry I can't give you any further help, but I do know what alcoholism does to you so if you ever fancy a chat, send me an e-mail xxxAny advice on how to cope around drunk people?
so SORRY U HAVE TO DEAL WITH THIS AS I AM GUESSING HERE BUT I IMMAGINE U R QUITE YOUNG, BUT U NEED 2 CHANGE UR SOCIAL ACTIVITIES,[IE] FRIENDS WHO DRINK] TRUST ME I AM PROBABLY A LOT OLDER THAN U AND HAVE A ALCHOHOL ISSUE MYSELF NOT BAD BUT COULD BE BETTER. GO JOIN A GYM OR SOME CLUB OR SOMETHING LOVE WE R ONLY HERE ONCE. GOOD LUCK. TRUST ME IT CAN B DONE.
First step - don't worry about when you're older. Just deal with the present moment. (FYI things usually get easier to ignore when you're older.)
At this time, you are seriously traumatized by people's drinking.
It is okay to avoid people who drink. Be around them as little as possible. Leave the house when the drinking starts. PLENTY of people who are now sober do this. It's not something you have to steel yourself to be around. Avoid it and don't worry about whether you're ';too sensitive'; or whether people ****** about it. Put your sobriety first. I certainly don't hang around scenes that are traumatic to me. I leave them. If people don't like it, that is okay with me.
I can understand why you feel like that after your parent's problems because other people's drunkenness must bring up the same feelings you had back then, I think the best thing is to get some counselling, you can probably find a specialist in this area via your local alcoholics anonymous service
i must admit i am an alcoholic myself but when i am not drinking and other people are drinking i usually just watch them make an idiot of themselves i realise this is a bit hippacricial as i do make an idiot of myself when i get drunk but i do watch them anyway like just recently my sister is considering having a massive piss up for her 21st i dont know whether to show or not i might have a few beers but not enough to get myself drunk and then walk off and let everyone else get absoloutly smashed and make an idiot of themselves while i catch up on some sleep
Maybe therapy is in order. You are letting the past control you now. You can't expect the others to have such an aversion to alcohol like you. I know when I was pregnant and not drinking it was difficult to be around people drinking. I had to change myself. I chose not to hang out with them. I would go to movies, read books, go to the gym, or just go out to dinner. Try to do things that do not involve alcohol. I would drink non alcoholic beer and ';pretend'; like I was partying with them. You may need to avoid the other people for a while until you can control your own emotions.
You need to let people know that drinking is an issue for you and why. Try not to put your self in positions where alcohol is, and heavy drinkers hang out. You are trying to clean up your life to improve your health, and don't want to see others hurting their health. Your friends and family may not change their actions, but atleast they will know where you stand, and if you decide not to hang out with them...they'll know why. Tho many people that drink heavily will become alcoholics...not all will. Many go through the drinking stage as teens and 20's. most will learn to be responsible regarding drinking. Unfortunately is all around us, and can't be totally controlled, you can control where you go. I commend you on your choices. Be strong. Hope this helps...
I understand exactly what you are feeling when around drinkers. It is to do with your past experiences and you can only come to terms with all of this if you go to some meeting for ..adult children of Alcoholics..these meetings will help you have a better understanding of what you are experiencing...or you could go for therapy to someone you specialises in Alcoholism. I just refuse to be around drunk people..I like a drink but I don't like a drunk person..even if they make a nice drunk I still don't want to be around them... Keeping drunks out of my life is the only way I can deal with it. I works for me but I don't know if it will work for you. You really need to come up with some way of dealing with all of this . I really think therapy is the answer .
Why are there so many people who are Swinging Experts, dispensing advice, but has never tried or even wants to?
I find it interesting on all the swinging questions on YA, so many people says things like, Don't Do It! It will ruin your marriage. It will give you STD's, you should have never got married nor took vows, it's disgusting, it's cheating, it's immoral, it's abnormal, you cannot turn back. You are a sick person...
Then if they choose to qualify their backgrounds, it's always a friend, and it's always a failure. If it does work, it's an exception.
Why don't these pro's of swinging say something like, it's only for one type of marriage, and if your relationship equates love and sex as the same thing, it will ruin your marriage. Nope, instead, the part about being able to separate love and sex never gets uttered by these so called experts.
Then come the calls that you will get an STD. I say to these so called experts, prove it. Just find me one site like the CDC, that says swinging, or that kind of lifestyle is spreading STD's, and I will be happy. I will warn you naysayers, I have looked far and wide for these details. I am not saying it cannot happen, I am just saying that it's not as big of an issue, because protection is a far greater issue, not to mention selectivity of swingers. Yes, they can be choosy, and very critical who they have sex with. But NO! Swingers are suppose to have uncontrolled, and wild sex with every other swinger they meet. Really folks? When you were single, did you jump in bed with every person who was willing or made a hit on you?
The list just goes on and on. Why do these so called experts do a little research first? At least before they try to tell others how it's not done, what the facts are, and what it really means to Swing?
Speaking of which, I challenge anyone who disagrees with Swinging to find one negative website that is not a blog, or YA answer that says swinging is bad, will ruin your marriage most of the time, and will give you STD's? I have been doing that myself for more than a year now, and still can't find one.Why are there so many people who are Swinging Experts, dispensing advice, but has never tried or even wants to?
WOW!...... Thanks so much for posting as you have.
I certainly don't want to convince anyone that swinging is a lifestyle for them, I wouldn't even try to. But geeezzzz before not even attempting to offer me the same respect, atleast know what you are talking about before trying to sound knowledgeable on a subject you know absolutely nothing about.
I totally agree with your perceptions, thanks again for sharing them!
Would you like to do some writing for http://www.Ginsopinion.com LOL
Ginni Why are there so many people who are Swinging Experts, dispensing advice, but has never tried or even wants to?
Well if you have all the answers then why do you need to post here? To get pissed at people that disagree with you %26amp; put them in their place? Whatever. When some poor soul comes to the Marriage %26amp; Divorce section asking if that's a GOOD idea they will usually be told that it's NOT. Should everyone just be like ';yeah do it. It's cool watching your husband bang other chicks';. NO. If you don't want opinions then don't ask the question.
just because you do not think swinging is bad
does not make it so
you are of a mindset
and no one is ( even with evidence in hand ) will change your mind of what you think swinging is
so you get defensive for the sake of the lifestyle
rather than say who cares what you think and delve headlong into it
so what do you have to hide?
yes most of us did jump in bed with the first person who hit on us, we were teenagers, and if you need to look for something, try finding out , of all the thousands that died from aids, how many of those were swingers or just had sex with others, and do u really think u can select a couple that u know for sure , is 100% clean, the ones of us that are still alive today are very lucky
Here is all the research I need.
There is no such thing as an open marriage. Screwing whomever whenever is called DATING. If dating is all you want, why not have one steady gal or guy and screw whomever on the side? Why take something like marriage (which is still sacred to some believe it or not) and try to put an STD infested spin on it? I don't believe swinging devestates marriages, because there is such a lack of respect and self worth there to begin with that marriage (in the definition that most people know) isn't even there in the first place. You're kidding yourself and you are making a complete *** of yourself for trying to justify your lifestyle. If it was something you felt good about, you wouldn't feel the need to get defensive.
why do you always ask this question on YA if you are so sure about what is right and what is wrong, is it your life, and im sure many people care about how you live it, but cant prevent you from doing it, youve called me ignorant for finding your first post a joke apparently but ten you go on right after putting how if its ok if u date another women with a spouse.i find it interesting that how from maybe 8 posts of your idiotic remarks and after getting ALL these people against your side, you still try to prove us, which probablly dont care, wrong. keep swinging for the rest of your life, i hope you get tired of it, because youll never find the joys of having a family and true love, stop asking yahoo because youll keep getting the answers you hate getting like ';itll ruin your marriage, and you will get STDs'; i could go on and on on how you think that being married, swinging is not bad, you even went to the extent where you said that God wanted you to swing, your so desperant you found it in yourself to even say that, and you were proven wrong horribly by one answerer, Go swing, remember, its your life, and i assume that youll think youll be happy the rest of your life swinging, obviouslly you yourself know it is wrong but cant admit it, so you try to post these questions with some random website trying to prove us otherwise so you can feel better, your wife deserves better and you deserve better from yourself, all you get is negative answers from your question, i just dont understand why it wrong get through your thick skull, you act as if swingers are all clean and loyal and loving and everyone woul benefit from swinging, you wont
btw your link dosnt work
I answer questions on Yahoo Answers all the time and I do not consider myself or claim to be an expert.
I have answered questions a time or two about swinging. If people wanted responses from experts they certainly would not come to this web site because it is a well known fact this site is Full of opinions.
Swinging is kinda a taboo to many people and maybe they do think swingers are swinging from the ceilings have wild untamed sex with whoever passes by. This site is full of different personalities from many different walks of life and Im sure there are many different views on this topic.
I don't believe non-swingers give much of a damn what other websites or people think/say about what swinging can do for your marriage. Because that is not the kind of thing non-swingers would even think of looking up in their free time.
I am guessing people who answer and say anything about STd's are thinking anytime you have sex even with one person you could be subjecting yourself to disease. The more numbers you add to your list the higher your chances increase. Condoms break and unless every sexual partner goes through a STD screening right before having sex there is no guarantee the condom won't break and a disease may leak right out.
I see no reason to get upset over answers from regular everyday people who live many different types of lifestyles.
I don't need to jump off a cliff to know its gonna hurt a lot at the bottom.
You don't need to be an expert to know that swinging is unwise.
A marriage would have to be pretty hollow emotionally and spiritually to willingly give oneself away to someone outside your bond.
Do newly weds in love even entertain the idea of swinging? No.
Couples who swing are ineffectively dealing with issues in their marriage , have low understanding of the concept of marriage or are simply horny and think if both partners cheat, then its okay.
As for being mature adults, consenting , choosy, bla bla bla bla bla. There is always a RISK of losing your partner to another (intellectually, emotionally, not just sex and stds)
If you truly loved your partner,simply the thought of possibly losing his/her heart via swinging should invoke healthy jealously, protectiveness and possessiveness in you. And you should feel that way towards each other.
Then if they choose to qualify their backgrounds, it's always a friend, and it's always a failure. If it does work, it's an exception.
Why don't these pro's of swinging say something like, it's only for one type of marriage, and if your relationship equates love and sex as the same thing, it will ruin your marriage. Nope, instead, the part about being able to separate love and sex never gets uttered by these so called experts.
Then come the calls that you will get an STD. I say to these so called experts, prove it. Just find me one site like the CDC, that says swinging, or that kind of lifestyle is spreading STD's, and I will be happy. I will warn you naysayers, I have looked far and wide for these details. I am not saying it cannot happen, I am just saying that it's not as big of an issue, because protection is a far greater issue, not to mention selectivity of swingers. Yes, they can be choosy, and very critical who they have sex with. But NO! Swingers are suppose to have uncontrolled, and wild sex with every other swinger they meet. Really folks? When you were single, did you jump in bed with every person who was willing or made a hit on you?
The list just goes on and on. Why do these so called experts do a little research first? At least before they try to tell others how it's not done, what the facts are, and what it really means to Swing?
Speaking of which, I challenge anyone who disagrees with Swinging to find one negative website that is not a blog, or YA answer that says swinging is bad, will ruin your marriage most of the time, and will give you STD's? I have been doing that myself for more than a year now, and still can't find one.Why are there so many people who are Swinging Experts, dispensing advice, but has never tried or even wants to?
WOW!...... Thanks so much for posting as you have.
I certainly don't want to convince anyone that swinging is a lifestyle for them, I wouldn't even try to. But geeezzzz before not even attempting to offer me the same respect, atleast know what you are talking about before trying to sound knowledgeable on a subject you know absolutely nothing about.
I totally agree with your perceptions, thanks again for sharing them!
Would you like to do some writing for http://www.Ginsopinion.com LOL
Ginni Why are there so many people who are Swinging Experts, dispensing advice, but has never tried or even wants to?
Well if you have all the answers then why do you need to post here? To get pissed at people that disagree with you %26amp; put them in their place? Whatever. When some poor soul comes to the Marriage %26amp; Divorce section asking if that's a GOOD idea they will usually be told that it's NOT. Should everyone just be like ';yeah do it. It's cool watching your husband bang other chicks';. NO. If you don't want opinions then don't ask the question.
just because you do not think swinging is bad
does not make it so
you are of a mindset
and no one is ( even with evidence in hand ) will change your mind of what you think swinging is
so you get defensive for the sake of the lifestyle
rather than say who cares what you think and delve headlong into it
so what do you have to hide?
yes most of us did jump in bed with the first person who hit on us, we were teenagers, and if you need to look for something, try finding out , of all the thousands that died from aids, how many of those were swingers or just had sex with others, and do u really think u can select a couple that u know for sure , is 100% clean, the ones of us that are still alive today are very lucky
Here is all the research I need.
There is no such thing as an open marriage. Screwing whomever whenever is called DATING. If dating is all you want, why not have one steady gal or guy and screw whomever on the side? Why take something like marriage (which is still sacred to some believe it or not) and try to put an STD infested spin on it? I don't believe swinging devestates marriages, because there is such a lack of respect and self worth there to begin with that marriage (in the definition that most people know) isn't even there in the first place. You're kidding yourself and you are making a complete *** of yourself for trying to justify your lifestyle. If it was something you felt good about, you wouldn't feel the need to get defensive.
why do you always ask this question on YA if you are so sure about what is right and what is wrong, is it your life, and im sure many people care about how you live it, but cant prevent you from doing it, youve called me ignorant for finding your first post a joke apparently but ten you go on right after putting how if its ok if u date another women with a spouse.i find it interesting that how from maybe 8 posts of your idiotic remarks and after getting ALL these people against your side, you still try to prove us, which probablly dont care, wrong. keep swinging for the rest of your life, i hope you get tired of it, because youll never find the joys of having a family and true love, stop asking yahoo because youll keep getting the answers you hate getting like ';itll ruin your marriage, and you will get STDs'; i could go on and on on how you think that being married, swinging is not bad, you even went to the extent where you said that God wanted you to swing, your so desperant you found it in yourself to even say that, and you were proven wrong horribly by one answerer, Go swing, remember, its your life, and i assume that youll think youll be happy the rest of your life swinging, obviouslly you yourself know it is wrong but cant admit it, so you try to post these questions with some random website trying to prove us otherwise so you can feel better, your wife deserves better and you deserve better from yourself, all you get is negative answers from your question, i just dont understand why it wrong get through your thick skull, you act as if swingers are all clean and loyal and loving and everyone woul benefit from swinging, you wont
btw your link dosnt work
I answer questions on Yahoo Answers all the time and I do not consider myself or claim to be an expert.
I have answered questions a time or two about swinging. If people wanted responses from experts they certainly would not come to this web site because it is a well known fact this site is Full of opinions.
Swinging is kinda a taboo to many people and maybe they do think swingers are swinging from the ceilings have wild untamed sex with whoever passes by. This site is full of different personalities from many different walks of life and Im sure there are many different views on this topic.
I don't believe non-swingers give much of a damn what other websites or people think/say about what swinging can do for your marriage. Because that is not the kind of thing non-swingers would even think of looking up in their free time.
I am guessing people who answer and say anything about STd's are thinking anytime you have sex even with one person you could be subjecting yourself to disease. The more numbers you add to your list the higher your chances increase. Condoms break and unless every sexual partner goes through a STD screening right before having sex there is no guarantee the condom won't break and a disease may leak right out.
I see no reason to get upset over answers from regular everyday people who live many different types of lifestyles.
I don't need to jump off a cliff to know its gonna hurt a lot at the bottom.
You don't need to be an expert to know that swinging is unwise.
A marriage would have to be pretty hollow emotionally and spiritually to willingly give oneself away to someone outside your bond.
Do newly weds in love even entertain the idea of swinging? No.
Couples who swing are ineffectively dealing with issues in their marriage , have low understanding of the concept of marriage or are simply horny and think if both partners cheat, then its okay.
As for being mature adults, consenting , choosy, bla bla bla bla bla. There is always a RISK of losing your partner to another (intellectually, emotionally, not just sex and stds)
If you truly loved your partner,simply the thought of possibly losing his/her heart via swinging should invoke healthy jealously, protectiveness and possessiveness in you. And you should feel that way towards each other.
Please advice on first car, honda and toyota people?
I am about to turn 19, and since I'm not one of those people that get their first car from their parents, I have been putting away some money and need advice. I have my mind set on a honda or toyota, and yes that includes acura and lexus. I want something reliable, that can make it past 220,000 miles and still drive beautifully without any problems. Smooth ride preferred, gas efficient, nice horse power, and preferably two door. Also something I can make into a project car later with a nice swap or some boost or something. I demand manual transmission lol. And please no civics, i love them ad they're great but it's really hard to find one that has not been abused by little amateur racers. I am a responsible driver and will treat it like a baby, just to school, then work and back home. Please suggestions. Coupes and hatchs preffered.Please advice on first car, honda and toyota people?
I'm gonna set my suggestions based on a 19 year old's budget (or at least a really tight budget) and I'd recommend a Honda Prelude. They're clean, two door, sporty compact %26amp; the type-sh model has a pretty good 200hp h22 motor. Chances are with any of these low end tuner vehicles, you're gonna see that your car is definitely gonna be a target for thief. By doing any mods of it, you're risking the security of your car, and once its stolen it's gonna hurt badly cuz it was your money that purchased it. If i can re-suggest you to getting just a nice commuter car that will stay out of any bad attention just get a toyota corolla xrs. it's clean and still sporty, it's very torque-y and i think you'll like it.Please advice on first car, honda and toyota people?
i know u said no civics but heres my list in order that i would buy them.
99-00 civic - coupe or hatch. preferably an Si (coupe)
94-01 integra (hatch) gsr or ls
scion tC
93-95 civic hatch (eg)
Del Sol, i guess girls look cute in them if there clean.
IS300
if you look around and actually invest the time as well as the money you can find a nice clean stock honda. just have to be dedicated to your car...
toyota celica=hatch, 180hp+, $8,000-$11,000
honda prelude=coupe, 200hp+, $10,000-$15,000
toyota supra=coupe, 200hp+, $8,000-$20,000
all are perfect just pick your style!
A Scion tC is what you're looking for.
I'm gonna set my suggestions based on a 19 year old's budget (or at least a really tight budget) and I'd recommend a Honda Prelude. They're clean, two door, sporty compact %26amp; the type-sh model has a pretty good 200hp h22 motor. Chances are with any of these low end tuner vehicles, you're gonna see that your car is definitely gonna be a target for thief. By doing any mods of it, you're risking the security of your car, and once its stolen it's gonna hurt badly cuz it was your money that purchased it. If i can re-suggest you to getting just a nice commuter car that will stay out of any bad attention just get a toyota corolla xrs. it's clean and still sporty, it's very torque-y and i think you'll like it.Please advice on first car, honda and toyota people?
i know u said no civics but heres my list in order that i would buy them.
99-00 civic - coupe or hatch. preferably an Si (coupe)
94-01 integra (hatch) gsr or ls
scion tC
93-95 civic hatch (eg)
Del Sol, i guess girls look cute in them if there clean.
IS300
if you look around and actually invest the time as well as the money you can find a nice clean stock honda. just have to be dedicated to your car...
toyota celica=hatch, 180hp+, $8,000-$11,000
honda prelude=coupe, 200hp+, $10,000-$15,000
toyota supra=coupe, 200hp+, $8,000-$20,000
all are perfect just pick your style!
A Scion tC is what you're looking for.
Anyone else Hate It when people with no kids offer unsolicited advice?
I have family members who wants to tell me when my kids should sleep, eat, and talk! I dread going to family gatherings! I have a 16 mth old daughter and a 2 yr .old son. They think my son should sit still like a 'good boy' and not run around and play! My daughter should learn how to communicate in a better way than saying ';NO'; when someone takes her toy! The list goes on and on. My kids are typical toddlers and I cant wait til my sisters have kids of their own! I'm just going to sit and laugh when my nephew/neice is not behaving like an ';adult'; at 2 years old!Anyone else Hate It when people with no kids offer unsolicited advice?
Only when it comes from parents, family, friends, strangers, in laws, teachers, or my wife. Everyone is a firkin expert till it's their turn. ';She just doesn't listen'; Duh she is 2. ';She had 5 time outs today'; Really is that it? ';You really shouldn't yell'; STOP!!
I told my father ';I do not need or want your parenting advice, its been 43 years since you had a 2 year old';. And the next time the In-Laws spout off they are getting a boat {read butt} load of verbal abuse from yours truly.
Oh yes and I really don't give a rip about what you did with your kid, every child is unique.Anyone else Hate It when people with no kids offer unsolicited advice?
yes hate it hate it hate it, but even worse i have a friend who is ALWAYS giving me unwanted advice about my 2 year old and what i should do, it's always ';supernany says this, supernany says that'; and my friends 5 year old daughter is......dare i say it, she is a s**t of a kid, i always catch her teasing my son,swearing,and hitting and she talks to my friend like a piece of crap, i just want to say control your kid then lecture me about mine.
I have a similar situation with my brother in law's wife. she has no kids of her own but, has quite a few god children that she sees every now and then. She loves talking about one in particular and often tells me how my children should act. It can be frustrating sometimes but, I kind of take it with a grain of salt and like you can't wait until she starts dropping some of her own.
I can't stand it when people do that. I get it a lot because I'm twenty looking after my three-year-old son alone. People think that because I'm young I can't look after a child and because he doesn't have a real mother he's deprived somehow. People shouldn't comment on how to look after your own children, it's so annoying
Instead of getting upset about it, just tell them that they are your kids and you are capable of parenting them yourselves.
You do not need to justify your kids behaviour, or your own to other people - more so because they are supposed to be your family and supporting you.
It annoys me too i get it with how i am going to feed my baby
I have chosen to pump my milk so my baby has all the nutrients but i do not feel comfortable to breastfeed.
Everyone always asks how i am to feed my baby so i say i am pumping
Everyone feels that they can tell me how to feed that i should breastfeed or that i should use formula
I want to do it my way and i have chosen what me and my parter have talked about
I think it is so insulting to be told what to do
It depends on how it's offered for me. If it's rude or judgemental I'll let the person know I'm not interested. If it's politely offered, albeit crazy advice, I'll just nod and smile knowing that I'll get the last laugh when they have kids! :-)
yes me 2..i have a 13yr old daughter who can ask 2 do crazy things sumtimes..and people always tell me how i need 2 take care of her or wat i shuld and shuldnt let her do..it makes me furious but its been helping..the more i take their advice and do that with her the more respect she shows for me...it pays off most of the time..but ur situation may be different..thanx 4 askin.. :)
That is always going to happen. Just let them say what they want and you tell them ';thanks for the advice but I am going to do it this way';. One day they will understand how it is to be a parent and you can do the same to them.
what about older people. There are two aunts in our family that think that just because they were around with nieces and nephews that they need to be pushy to me. I dont approve of tthat at all.
I hate it even when people WITH kids offer unsolicited advice...!
Yep
yes I stopped talking to my sister because my husband said something to her about the way they take care of their kids and she does it worse I have two girls 6 and 2 and one boy 1 and my sister has two girls almost 3 and almost 1 and she always tried telling me how to take care of my kids her oldest isn't even starting potty training and telling me my two year old should be I at least started with mine I don't ignore my kids like she does she used to babysit for my oldest for a year for like 2 hours a day when she was 2-3 and she used to ignore her when she had to take her to the bathroom and she used to feed her junk food and I get yelled at that I don't feed my kids healthy enough well I feel your painrefill
Only when it comes from parents, family, friends, strangers, in laws, teachers, or my wife. Everyone is a firkin expert till it's their turn. ';She just doesn't listen'; Duh she is 2. ';She had 5 time outs today'; Really is that it? ';You really shouldn't yell'; STOP!!
I told my father ';I do not need or want your parenting advice, its been 43 years since you had a 2 year old';. And the next time the In-Laws spout off they are getting a boat {read butt} load of verbal abuse from yours truly.
Oh yes and I really don't give a rip about what you did with your kid, every child is unique.Anyone else Hate It when people with no kids offer unsolicited advice?
yes hate it hate it hate it, but even worse i have a friend who is ALWAYS giving me unwanted advice about my 2 year old and what i should do, it's always ';supernany says this, supernany says that'; and my friends 5 year old daughter is......dare i say it, she is a s**t of a kid, i always catch her teasing my son,swearing,and hitting and she talks to my friend like a piece of crap, i just want to say control your kid then lecture me about mine.
I have a similar situation with my brother in law's wife. she has no kids of her own but, has quite a few god children that she sees every now and then. She loves talking about one in particular and often tells me how my children should act. It can be frustrating sometimes but, I kind of take it with a grain of salt and like you can't wait until she starts dropping some of her own.
I can't stand it when people do that. I get it a lot because I'm twenty looking after my three-year-old son alone. People think that because I'm young I can't look after a child and because he doesn't have a real mother he's deprived somehow. People shouldn't comment on how to look after your own children, it's so annoying
Instead of getting upset about it, just tell them that they are your kids and you are capable of parenting them yourselves.
You do not need to justify your kids behaviour, or your own to other people - more so because they are supposed to be your family and supporting you.
It annoys me too i get it with how i am going to feed my baby
I have chosen to pump my milk so my baby has all the nutrients but i do not feel comfortable to breastfeed.
Everyone always asks how i am to feed my baby so i say i am pumping
Everyone feels that they can tell me how to feed that i should breastfeed or that i should use formula
I want to do it my way and i have chosen what me and my parter have talked about
I think it is so insulting to be told what to do
It depends on how it's offered for me. If it's rude or judgemental I'll let the person know I'm not interested. If it's politely offered, albeit crazy advice, I'll just nod and smile knowing that I'll get the last laugh when they have kids! :-)
yes me 2..i have a 13yr old daughter who can ask 2 do crazy things sumtimes..and people always tell me how i need 2 take care of her or wat i shuld and shuldnt let her do..it makes me furious but its been helping..the more i take their advice and do that with her the more respect she shows for me...it pays off most of the time..but ur situation may be different..thanx 4 askin.. :)
That is always going to happen. Just let them say what they want and you tell them ';thanks for the advice but I am going to do it this way';. One day they will understand how it is to be a parent and you can do the same to them.
what about older people. There are two aunts in our family that think that just because they were around with nieces and nephews that they need to be pushy to me. I dont approve of tthat at all.
I hate it even when people WITH kids offer unsolicited advice...!
Yep
yes I stopped talking to my sister because my husband said something to her about the way they take care of their kids and she does it worse I have two girls 6 and 2 and one boy 1 and my sister has two girls almost 3 and almost 1 and she always tried telling me how to take care of my kids her oldest isn't even starting potty training and telling me my two year old should be I at least started with mine I don't ignore my kids like she does she used to babysit for my oldest for a year for like 2 hours a day when she was 2-3 and she used to ignore her when she had to take her to the bathroom and she used to feed her junk food and I get yelled at that I don't feed my kids healthy enough well I feel your pain
Why do you think some people never ask questions and just like to give advice are they afraid to ask something
yet they troll the questions and give advice sometimes good and alot of time bad advice.......WHY? are you afraid to ask a question? you know who you are.....Why do you think some people never ask questions and just like to give advice are they afraid to ask something
To busy collecting points and not wanting to give some up to ask a question, or maybe because they think they know everything.Why do you think some people never ask questions and just like to give advice are they afraid to ask something
I think they do it because they just want points.
I don't ask questions because I am pretty good at finding information on my own. If I need to know the density of cooking oil, for example, I know how to either research the answer online or do tests in my own kitchen. I have lots of fun answering questions, both my questions and other peoples' questions.
Questions that I do have tend to be more sophisticated than Yahoo! Answers. It's not to say that they are classy, I just require more of an answer than most replies at Yahoo! Answers.
Ironically, I can't tell you why other people don't ask questions. Yours may be the first research of it's kind! How exciting!
I just like to help people, if I have questions about most anything, I already have forums full of friends to ask.
To busy collecting points and not wanting to give some up to ask a question, or maybe because they think they know everything.Why do you think some people never ask questions and just like to give advice are they afraid to ask something
I think they do it because they just want points.
I don't ask questions because I am pretty good at finding information on my own. If I need to know the density of cooking oil, for example, I know how to either research the answer online or do tests in my own kitchen. I have lots of fun answering questions, both my questions and other peoples' questions.
Questions that I do have tend to be more sophisticated than Yahoo! Answers. It's not to say that they are classy, I just require more of an answer than most replies at Yahoo! Answers.
Ironically, I can't tell you why other people don't ask questions. Yours may be the first research of it's kind! How exciting!
I just like to help people, if I have questions about most anything, I already have forums full of friends to ask.
PLEASE HELP!! I NEED TWITTER ADVICE BUT FROM GIRLS, NOT NERDY COMPUTER PEOPLE LOL ? 鈾モ櫏鈾モ櫏 ?
whats your username on twitter? i know its supposed to be something easy to type and remember and that defines you ...
should i go with my full first and last name ..
or the username i usually pick for stuff like aim/email/websites which is xoxemily93PLEASE HELP!! I NEED TWITTER ADVICE BUT FROM GIRLS, NOT NERDY COMPUTER PEOPLE LOL ? 鈾モ櫏鈾モ櫏 ?
I had a nice, helpful reply to this, but then I stopped, since I'm one of those ';Nerdy computer people.';PLEASE HELP!! I NEED TWITTER ADVICE BUT FROM GIRLS, NOT NERDY COMPUTER PEOPLE LOL ? 鈾モ櫏鈾モ櫏 ?
nerdy computer ppl helped build ur computer in the first place, so i suggest u be nice to them
should i go with my full first and last name ..
or the username i usually pick for stuff like aim/email/websites which is xoxemily93PLEASE HELP!! I NEED TWITTER ADVICE BUT FROM GIRLS, NOT NERDY COMPUTER PEOPLE LOL ? 鈾モ櫏鈾モ櫏 ?
I had a nice, helpful reply to this, but then I stopped, since I'm one of those ';Nerdy computer people.';PLEASE HELP!! I NEED TWITTER ADVICE BUT FROM GIRLS, NOT NERDY COMPUTER PEOPLE LOL ? 鈾モ櫏鈾モ櫏 ?
nerdy computer ppl helped build ur computer in the first place, so i suggest u be nice to them
I am unpopular and get teased at school a lot. People graffiti about me and all. Advice please!?
Im alright looking, I mean Im not ugly or anything but I get picked on at school and people write stuff on my chair like ';***** smells'; and ect. I want to become popular again like I was in primary school but the girls who are popular all say stuff like call me names. Like when they want me to pass them a piece of paper or something they'll all be like ';(insult here) pass me a piece of paper please'; I have friends and all but that doesnt help. It makes me feel really bad I am totally depressed. Im not sure why it happens. They all say **** about me when Im nearby so I'll hear. I feel so horrible. How can I make it stop?I am unpopular and get teased at school a lot. People graffiti about me and all. Advice please!?
Young girls start becoming petty and ruthless at middle school and it seems that no matter what, they'll find a way to make your school life miserable. Talk to your guidance counselor and tell them what's up. They can probably switch your schedule or have a conference with these girls.
I went through it too. I remember when I was in 9th grade a girl tried to steal my keychains I had on my backpack. She even went as far as ransacking it taking what I had inside. I held on to my backpack as tightly as I could while this witch was hitting me and she pushed me. I collided with the desk. All awhile the teacher didn't do a thing. Luckily I switched classes within a month and it worked out great.I am unpopular and get teased at school a lot. People graffiti about me and all. Advice please!?
I am assuming that you are middle school.
My advice is to not worry about popularity. Study hard, make good grades, get a scholarship to a University and make something of yourself.
The middle school nonsense will end. I promise you that.
Those who matter don't mind, and those who mind don't matter. People are typical to make fun of others as an attempt to make themselves feel better (they have insecurities that they cant handle) People are jerks. They dont have any clue what it feels like until they are in the exact same situation. I would smile and say, ';Wow! I know you are so totally cool to be such a jerk!!!!!'; or ';Must make u feel so much better to act just like an *** wipe!- Gold star on your forehead, sweetie!!!!'; Give them a taste of their own medicine or better yet. Act as though they said nothing at all until theygive you some common courtesy. However, sounds like to me that truly you are too good for them. Popularity amongst those type of jerks would be a hindrance if you ask me. It would be just like being the King/Queen of STENCH/Garbage.
Why are you playing their childish little games?
If you show that you don't care they will back off - in fact rather than hide about them start to speak up and tell them how good it is that they are practising their writing.
Or tell them that it's good that they write these things because it means that they are leaving others alone.
Being popular only makes you that way by sleeping around and I am sure that you are a better person than that.
Unfortunately this is a hierarchial problem. People will continue to pick on you if they think it can't strengthen their own position. So anyone can try to pick on you, even the lowest.
In the animal kingdom this happens all the time. Sooner or later the individual has to stand up and react with aggression and force showing the person that just provoked him/her that you don't succumb. So I would select someone who is not too high up in the hierarchy, launch at them when provoked, and basically beat the crap out of them. Try to muster some anger in between so you get enough rage to go berserk.
There's alternative ways, but they all include someone above their hierarchy like an adult to step in and take control. That type of control usually ends when the person leaves though.
Best of luck.
l would be speaking to my school councelor.
lt is not right that a young girl has to endure something like this.Talk with your parents and your friends.
Maybe other girls are jealous of you,because you may be good looking.They may be intimidated by you.
lt is not you.lt is them...........................
Young girls can be so cruel in highschool or lower. When you hit a certain age (and start going from a little girl to a hot young woman) jealousy arises. That behavior from them is cruel and you麓ll see in ten years that most of them will be shallow, sad, pathetic creatures with relationship histories that top the worst of them. I know it麓s hard to say, but just ignore the haters and be a good person. Sooner or later what they write and/or say about you will haunt them and give them little shells of existence. They are crabs, they are hermits, they are not your friends. But in due time it will all come. Maybe you麓ll become a supermodel and they will work at Mc Donalds. Irony can be very ironic at times. Good luck, and realize that people who do that are not as good as you. Take care.
It was like that when I was at high school as well. I used to fear for my safety. People would insult me constantly and follow me around school. They were convinced I was lesbian. Actually, I am, but I only came out after leaving school. I complained to the school and they didn't take my concerns seriously. I even had students stealing from me. They were never caught though. One girl in particular used to hunt me down and tried to get me to fight her. Eventually I just punched her and she never said a word to me again. I don't condone violence though. I would say complain to the school and make sure they take it seriously. I think things must be better these days. People realize that bullying is serious stuff. I wish you luck. It will get better when you leave school. Be tough and don't give up hope.
they're just jealous of you!!!!!!!!! you are so much better than they are. Dont take it to heart. I know beautiful girls who were ''picked on'' by jealous girls like that. Either they are jealous or they want to feel powerful. You can either ignore it or put up a fight.
I'm so sorry, girls can be so very cruel at that age. I remember my sister telling me in middle school, she and her friends would sometimes pick a girl at random and all of them decide not to speak to her that day - just for ';fun';. That story though helped me understand how mean and cruel girls can be to each other - which continues on into adulthood and the work force, I'm sorry to say. An office full of women is usually trouble - all the back-biting and gossip, I don't know why women have such a hard time getting along with other women. Maybe because they always see each other as ';rivals';, who knows?
At any rate - instead of focusing on them ';making it stop'; focus on you, what can you do. You can not change their behavior, you will never be able to force anyone to treat you exactly like you want to be treated - so you have to make a conscious decision in your attitude, that this is not going to bother you, you are going to ignore them and hang out with your own friends.
Or if you wanted to be more pro-active - you could start documenting a log or journal of all their inappropriate behavior and then after a month or so - taking it to the school counselor. Or even as someone else suggested, calling one of them out one day - and beating the crap out of her. Both options not without some consequence.
Either way - I wish you the best and know that it will pass. I'm sorry you are going through this right now.
stop trying to be popular.
I wouldn't worry about getting popular. I'd simply rely on my friends to keep my mental sanity entact. The same thing happened to me when I was in middle school. In primary school, I was The Next Big Thing. All of a sudden, I completely lost my so-called ';friends'; in middle school. I would've done the same thing I suggested you to do, but I had no friends to rely on.
Young girls start becoming petty and ruthless at middle school and it seems that no matter what, they'll find a way to make your school life miserable. Talk to your guidance counselor and tell them what's up. They can probably switch your schedule or have a conference with these girls.
I went through it too. I remember when I was in 9th grade a girl tried to steal my keychains I had on my backpack. She even went as far as ransacking it taking what I had inside. I held on to my backpack as tightly as I could while this witch was hitting me and she pushed me. I collided with the desk. All awhile the teacher didn't do a thing. Luckily I switched classes within a month and it worked out great.I am unpopular and get teased at school a lot. People graffiti about me and all. Advice please!?
I am assuming that you are middle school.
My advice is to not worry about popularity. Study hard, make good grades, get a scholarship to a University and make something of yourself.
The middle school nonsense will end. I promise you that.
Those who matter don't mind, and those who mind don't matter. People are typical to make fun of others as an attempt to make themselves feel better (they have insecurities that they cant handle) People are jerks. They dont have any clue what it feels like until they are in the exact same situation. I would smile and say, ';Wow! I know you are so totally cool to be such a jerk!!!!!'; or ';Must make u feel so much better to act just like an *** wipe!- Gold star on your forehead, sweetie!!!!'; Give them a taste of their own medicine or better yet. Act as though they said nothing at all until theygive you some common courtesy. However, sounds like to me that truly you are too good for them. Popularity amongst those type of jerks would be a hindrance if you ask me. It would be just like being the King/Queen of STENCH/Garbage.
Why are you playing their childish little games?
If you show that you don't care they will back off - in fact rather than hide about them start to speak up and tell them how good it is that they are practising their writing.
Or tell them that it's good that they write these things because it means that they are leaving others alone.
Being popular only makes you that way by sleeping around and I am sure that you are a better person than that.
Unfortunately this is a hierarchial problem. People will continue to pick on you if they think it can't strengthen their own position. So anyone can try to pick on you, even the lowest.
In the animal kingdom this happens all the time. Sooner or later the individual has to stand up and react with aggression and force showing the person that just provoked him/her that you don't succumb. So I would select someone who is not too high up in the hierarchy, launch at them when provoked, and basically beat the crap out of them. Try to muster some anger in between so you get enough rage to go berserk.
There's alternative ways, but they all include someone above their hierarchy like an adult to step in and take control. That type of control usually ends when the person leaves though.
Best of luck.
l would be speaking to my school councelor.
lt is not right that a young girl has to endure something like this.Talk with your parents and your friends.
Maybe other girls are jealous of you,because you may be good looking.They may be intimidated by you.
lt is not you.lt is them...........................
Young girls can be so cruel in highschool or lower. When you hit a certain age (and start going from a little girl to a hot young woman) jealousy arises. That behavior from them is cruel and you麓ll see in ten years that most of them will be shallow, sad, pathetic creatures with relationship histories that top the worst of them. I know it麓s hard to say, but just ignore the haters and be a good person. Sooner or later what they write and/or say about you will haunt them and give them little shells of existence. They are crabs, they are hermits, they are not your friends. But in due time it will all come. Maybe you麓ll become a supermodel and they will work at Mc Donalds. Irony can be very ironic at times. Good luck, and realize that people who do that are not as good as you. Take care.
It was like that when I was at high school as well. I used to fear for my safety. People would insult me constantly and follow me around school. They were convinced I was lesbian. Actually, I am, but I only came out after leaving school. I complained to the school and they didn't take my concerns seriously. I even had students stealing from me. They were never caught though. One girl in particular used to hunt me down and tried to get me to fight her. Eventually I just punched her and she never said a word to me again. I don't condone violence though. I would say complain to the school and make sure they take it seriously. I think things must be better these days. People realize that bullying is serious stuff. I wish you luck. It will get better when you leave school. Be tough and don't give up hope.
they're just jealous of you!!!!!!!!! you are so much better than they are. Dont take it to heart. I know beautiful girls who were ''picked on'' by jealous girls like that. Either they are jealous or they want to feel powerful. You can either ignore it or put up a fight.
I'm so sorry, girls can be so very cruel at that age. I remember my sister telling me in middle school, she and her friends would sometimes pick a girl at random and all of them decide not to speak to her that day - just for ';fun';. That story though helped me understand how mean and cruel girls can be to each other - which continues on into adulthood and the work force, I'm sorry to say. An office full of women is usually trouble - all the back-biting and gossip, I don't know why women have such a hard time getting along with other women. Maybe because they always see each other as ';rivals';, who knows?
At any rate - instead of focusing on them ';making it stop'; focus on you, what can you do. You can not change their behavior, you will never be able to force anyone to treat you exactly like you want to be treated - so you have to make a conscious decision in your attitude, that this is not going to bother you, you are going to ignore them and hang out with your own friends.
Or if you wanted to be more pro-active - you could start documenting a log or journal of all their inappropriate behavior and then after a month or so - taking it to the school counselor. Or even as someone else suggested, calling one of them out one day - and beating the crap out of her. Both options not without some consequence.
Either way - I wish you the best and know that it will pass. I'm sorry you are going through this right now.
stop trying to be popular.
I wouldn't worry about getting popular. I'd simply rely on my friends to keep my mental sanity entact. The same thing happened to me when I was in middle school. In primary school, I was The Next Big Thing. All of a sudden, I completely lost my so-called ';friends'; in middle school. I would've done the same thing I suggested you to do, but I had no friends to rely on.
ILL PICK U FOR THE BEST ANSWEERRRRRR鈾?A BUNCH OF PEOPLE PLZ READ AND RESPOND.. NEED ADVICE. REALLY CONFUSED ?
Ok well ill try to make this as short as possible. There is this guy name vince that i like, and he told me about 6 times on myspace that he likes. Well me and vince talk on myspace all the time and the reason why were not going out is because i got held back:[ So we go to different schools so I never see him that much. But vince had told me that he would want/love to ask me out but we go to different schools so we would never see eachother. And he told me that we never hung out before. And well on friday vince tried hanging out w/ me but it dint work out. And He asked me over myspace if I think this would work out? Because he can't find any time to hang out so thats why hes wondering if this would work out. And i just said idk and then vince knows about this guy name brandon that likes me.
And vince was telling me that he was jealous and that he would kick brandons *** and then take me out to a romatic movie Lol. And I vince asked me wat am i going to do about brandon. And I just told him that I told brandon that me %26amp; him should just be friends. And vince said ';its okay if u like him..id understand:)
we can be friends its okay, and u can go out w/him, its fine.
just as long as we stay friends:)'; and i said ';well i just dont like him like that and hes ok with just being friends so its all good. :'; and vince said ';rikki.u dont have to tell me those things. i know u like him i can tell by the comments. its really okay, we can just be friends too:'; and i wrote back saying ';well u sound like u would just want to be friends w/ me:( And lol i honestly dont like him like that. Me and him have been friends for awhile.'; and vince replied this morning saying ';well if thats only if u want it that way, if your happy, im happy:)%26lt;3 well okay..haha:]';
And i feel like a total ***** because i replied back saying ';wow. lol well it doesn't matter to me anymore.'; And in a little bit do u think i should send him a message saying: Hey sorry about that other message i sent you, that was a ***** of me to say. And well i like you and you know i like you lol. But it just sounds like u would want to be friends.. so idk its up to you
Do u think that would sound ok to say? and do u think he does like me.. Like my friend Juan told me that vince does. And That vince even told Juan a few times that he likes me. And juan asked vince if he is going to ask me out and vince said yeah and Juan soon when? and i guess vince said soon but we go to different schools. And idk he flirts w/ me a lot on myspace too.
so idk! help?ILL PICK U FOR THE BEST ANSWEERRRRRR鈾?A BUNCH OF PEOPLE PLZ READ AND RESPOND.. NEED ADVICE. REALLY CONFUSED ?
JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!ILL PICK U FOR THE BEST ANSWEERRRRRR鈾?A BUNCH OF PEOPLE PLZ READ AND RESPOND.. NEED ADVICE. REALLY CONFUSED ?
did you say you make it as short as possible? lol
chill out! that sounds fine to say, and dont get 2 cot up on this.
good luck, and p.s. try to make it shorter next time!
And vince was telling me that he was jealous and that he would kick brandons *** and then take me out to a romatic movie Lol. And I vince asked me wat am i going to do about brandon. And I just told him that I told brandon that me %26amp; him should just be friends. And vince said ';its okay if u like him..id understand:)
we can be friends its okay, and u can go out w/him, its fine.
just as long as we stay friends:)'; and i said ';well i just dont like him like that and hes ok with just being friends so its all good. :'; and vince said ';rikki.u dont have to tell me those things. i know u like him i can tell by the comments. its really okay, we can just be friends too:'; and i wrote back saying ';well u sound like u would just want to be friends w/ me:( And lol i honestly dont like him like that. Me and him have been friends for awhile.'; and vince replied this morning saying ';well if thats only if u want it that way, if your happy, im happy:)%26lt;3 well okay..haha:]';
And i feel like a total ***** because i replied back saying ';wow. lol well it doesn't matter to me anymore.'; And in a little bit do u think i should send him a message saying: Hey sorry about that other message i sent you, that was a ***** of me to say. And well i like you and you know i like you lol. But it just sounds like u would want to be friends.. so idk its up to you
Do u think that would sound ok to say? and do u think he does like me.. Like my friend Juan told me that vince does. And That vince even told Juan a few times that he likes me. And juan asked vince if he is going to ask me out and vince said yeah and Juan soon when? and i guess vince said soon but we go to different schools. And idk he flirts w/ me a lot on myspace too.
so idk! help?ILL PICK U FOR THE BEST ANSWEERRRRRR鈾?A BUNCH OF PEOPLE PLZ READ AND RESPOND.. NEED ADVICE. REALLY CONFUSED ?
JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!ILL PICK U FOR THE BEST ANSWEERRRRRR鈾?A BUNCH OF PEOPLE PLZ READ AND RESPOND.. NEED ADVICE. REALLY CONFUSED ?
did you say you make it as short as possible? lol
chill out! that sounds fine to say, and dont get 2 cot up on this.
good luck, and p.s. try to make it shorter next time!
I need your advice how to concentrate-playing piano in front of many people ? so that we wont make mistakes.?
first of all you need toaccept the fact that nobody's perfect. even concert artists make mistakes. then you need to learn how to practice. polish your pieces. then you need to do performance practice. play for your mom, dad a friend or even a pet. treat it like a real performance. then you need to do the real thing by actually performing for people. this takes time, patience and perseverance and there's no guarantee that you won't make mistakes. however, you do increase your ';batting average.';I need your advice how to concentrate-playing piano in front of many people ? so that we wont make mistakes.?
Hi there.
If you could do this, try to channel your energy somewhere else. E.g take a few breaths or go for a walk before your perfomance. It helps to start playing it in a small group of friends e.g start with 1 or a number that you are comfortable with and gradually let the number become bigger.
Also, it helps to memorize the piece that you are playing and if you want to close your eyes, close them. Most professional musicians do that when they want to set the mood.
Don't worry. Most professional musicians do make mistakes, but they cover it up brillantly e.g not stumbling or making noises, stopping and starting or saying sorry to the audience. If you make a mistake, just keep on moving untill you finish the piece. The audience would not know whether you have made a mistake or not if you don't tell them through your actions.
Also if you stop and start, it shows the audience that you aren't confident with your piece. Not only that never apologize to your audience before/during/after the performance starts/stops.
Ruth Bonetti has some excellent advices on this. She's a specialist who deals with this stuff everyday. Her url is: http://ruthbonetti.com/index.php . Hope this helps and all the very best in your future performancesI need your advice how to concentrate-playing piano in front of many people ? so that we wont make mistakes.?
Concentrate on just your playing and not how they would think of you, besides, looking at the crowd would only make you loose your attention towards whatever key you're on to.
Before the performance, soak your face in water for about 8 seconds, that'd calm your nerves down.
Good luck on whatever you're playing!
but you answered your own question
x
while playing the piano, why don't you close your eyes. it will not only makes you concentrate, it can also make you feel the music... :D
Hi there.
If you could do this, try to channel your energy somewhere else. E.g take a few breaths or go for a walk before your perfomance. It helps to start playing it in a small group of friends e.g start with 1 or a number that you are comfortable with and gradually let the number become bigger.
Also, it helps to memorize the piece that you are playing and if you want to close your eyes, close them. Most professional musicians do that when they want to set the mood.
Don't worry. Most professional musicians do make mistakes, but they cover it up brillantly e.g not stumbling or making noises, stopping and starting or saying sorry to the audience. If you make a mistake, just keep on moving untill you finish the piece. The audience would not know whether you have made a mistake or not if you don't tell them through your actions.
Also if you stop and start, it shows the audience that you aren't confident with your piece. Not only that never apologize to your audience before/during/after the performance starts/stops.
Ruth Bonetti has some excellent advices on this. She's a specialist who deals with this stuff everyday. Her url is: http://ruthbonetti.com/index.php . Hope this helps and all the very best in your future performancesI need your advice how to concentrate-playing piano in front of many people ? so that we wont make mistakes.?
Concentrate on just your playing and not how they would think of you, besides, looking at the crowd would only make you loose your attention towards whatever key you're on to.
Before the performance, soak your face in water for about 8 seconds, that'd calm your nerves down.
Good luck on whatever you're playing!
but you answered your own question
x
while playing the piano, why don't you close your eyes. it will not only makes you concentrate, it can also make you feel the music... :D
Teeth pulled and idk when im going to get bracesss? People who have or had braces.. ADVICE?
I have an appointment next thurs to get 2 baby teeth pulled because my teeth are crooked on top.
Then after that i want braces.
How long after next thursday ccan i get them?
I have a gap, will it go away in a few months%26gt;?
and how long after orthodonist appointment can i get them on ?
Thank you so much.
And school is in august, wil the swelling go down?
I already have puffy cheeks and buck teeth.Teeth pulled and idk when im going to get bracesss? People who have or had braces.. ADVICE?
minimum fter going to the orthdontist you could have them on in 2 weeks because they have to put rubberbands between yur teeth to make room for the';rings'; they put on this doesn't hurt at all buck teeth will go away in the first couple weeks as for the puffy cheeks I have no clue and the gap will go away
hope it helpedTeeth pulled and idk when im going to get bracesss? People who have or had braces.. ADVICE?
well you should get braces when they are fully in cause you don't want to get a check up after every week... i have a gap too so if you have your 12 year old molars it will likely to push you teeth together causing the gap to close.. it will take a couple of months before getting the braces. and the swelling should go down during late july to early august. hope this helped.....
swelling should go down. depending on what your dentist/orthodonist says, you should get braces when your teeth come in. but they might put your braces on, and add bracets when the teeth come in.refill
Then after that i want braces.
How long after next thursday ccan i get them?
I have a gap, will it go away in a few months%26gt;?
and how long after orthodonist appointment can i get them on ?
Thank you so much.
And school is in august, wil the swelling go down?
I already have puffy cheeks and buck teeth.Teeth pulled and idk when im going to get bracesss? People who have or had braces.. ADVICE?
minimum fter going to the orthdontist you could have them on in 2 weeks because they have to put rubberbands between yur teeth to make room for the';rings'; they put on this doesn't hurt at all buck teeth will go away in the first couple weeks as for the puffy cheeks I have no clue and the gap will go away
hope it helpedTeeth pulled and idk when im going to get bracesss? People who have or had braces.. ADVICE?
well you should get braces when they are fully in cause you don't want to get a check up after every week... i have a gap too so if you have your 12 year old molars it will likely to push you teeth together causing the gap to close.. it will take a couple of months before getting the braces. and the swelling should go down during late july to early august. hope this helped.....
swelling should go down. depending on what your dentist/orthodonist says, you should get braces when your teeth come in. but they might put your braces on, and add bracets when the teeth come in.
Please answer:( Over 20.Your advice would be soo great right now people.Sorry, kind of long.?
should i try to see him more or actually let him figure things out and continue to give him complete space
im just scared its going to be ';out of sight, out of mind kinda thing :(';
here is the story.
My bf turned 22 and i guess had a reality check. We were dating for 2 years and he was telling me how he feels old etc.
then BOOM..we broke up but it was bitter sweet.
He tells me how much he loves me and how hard it is and how amazing i am and how much he wishes he was 25 so he could marry me right now etc.
but his mind is made up aboutthe breakup and even though i tried talking about it he gets mad. so i have to leave it
should i just leave him and give himhis space and let him figure things out?
Its so tough. I saw him 2 weeks ago (we broke up on feb 1st) and he cant stop hugging me and treating me like his gf again when we see each other...open my door, kiss my hands, my nose etc.
We are also both in ourr 4th year of university as well
Honestly, the relationship was so mature and great. Even he admitted that when he was talking about it..sad ofcourse.
We hvant talked since Valentines day and its hard because we talked everyday for a 2 years.But that was his choice. I alwtas told him no pressure if he doenst have the time to text or call but for 2 years he always texted me ';goodnight love';.. I know he still loves me and still cares. The last 2 times i saw him he couldnt let go of me and couldnt stop telling me that yet didnt want to talk about why he wants this.
ok, so its been a month and he saw my a university the other day and i waved to him...he came up to me and hugged me for the longest time and kissed my forehead. I was confused!! he sent me a msg later that night saying ti was good to see me and that he enjoyed the hug he also said that if we had started dating when we were 24/25 i would have been the one. %26amp; that right now he needs to figure himself out first.
i replied and i agreed with him that he needs to figure things out
and that 24/25 thing doesnt matter as you cannot time things like that.
I wished him luck in his studies and everything
do you think i handled it well?!?!?!
ok its been about a month and half since the break up. I saw him on the bus at university on friday and said hi to him he grabbed me adn hugged me adn kissed my forehead. When we were tlaking he kept saying how excited he is his car is running and kept asking me what im doing this weekend. He was making fun of me sometimes too %26amp; hugged me. You know the usual stuff when we were dating. He seemed really happy to see me though, Then as he was getting off the bus he said that if him and his friend go out this weekend that i shoul come out with them. I dont think they ended up going out but im really confused as to waht he wants. Clearly he still misses me but isnt really doing anything :S But, its a good feeling to know he's still so nice you know. Im just kinda torn between fully focusing on moving on or giving it time. Moving on would be awkward though since the whole relationship up until that point was filled wiht fun and laughter :)Please answer:( Over 20.Your advice would be soo great right now people.Sorry, kind of long.?
Just follow what he wants.
I think it's for the best to give yourself and him a break!
It's always for the best to take some time off..
And always remember that if he comes back then he's forever yours, but if he doesn't then it was never meant to be!
And believe in it!
Good luck and hope this helps! ^__^Please answer:( Over 20.Your advice would be soo great right now people.Sorry, kind of long.?
You're right. Much too long.
Relationships are going to come and go in your life. Even the ones you stay with are different as time goes along.
Sounds like you handled things well in this case. There's rarely any point in burning bridges.
Move on.
Ok i'm 27 and read the whole story lol.
It sounds to me like he is a little immature, splitting up with you because he isn't old enough?, that is a bit silly i think, i also think he wants to be single but really likes you, so he wants the best of both worlds, this kissing and hugging thing isn't helping either of you, that needs to stop, fair enough a hug is ok but the way you were describing it, seems strange for 'friends'.
It's hard for a man to stay friends with a woman he has been in love with, men are more insecure than you might think.
You have to distance yourself from him and move on, the longer this goes on the harder it's gonna be for you both, so do the hard awkward thing and end it, tell him you don't want to hear from him and that you won't reply to any texts or emails etc, after a while it will get easier and you will feel better.
Good Luck
Your situation sounds just like my ex and I. You should most definitely move on. He is being so nice to you because he is probably a nice guy and doesn't want to see someone he loves hurting. He is also probably being friendly and sweet because he is used to your friendship and is having a hard time letting it go; however, it doesn't sound like he's having a hard time letting go of the romantic aspect of your relationship. The whole 24/25 thing is really just an excuse to make himself feel better and to make you feel better about spending two years with him. There is no such excuse if he truly loved you and if he truly wanted to marry you, he would have made it happen, no matter the circumstances. The good news is it sounds like you have a really good head on your shoulders and I'm sure you will find someone that can give you a friendship and a romantic relationship!
give him time, but dont make the effort to talk to him, see him etc. use the time to concentrate on what you want, how you feel and for your university exams.
usually the phrase absence makes the heart grow fonder is very true! if you are always there, he wont have the chance to miss you, and so won't realise if he wants you back properly.
go out with your girlfriends and have fun, but at the end of the day, make it clear to him that he needs to make up his mind and would he like it if you were with another guy, you can't be expected to hold on forever to see if he will want you in years to come.
if you are so serious about each other then whats to stop you getting engaged now? age is just a number, i got engaged at 18 and am extremely happy,
im just scared its going to be ';out of sight, out of mind kinda thing :(';
here is the story.
My bf turned 22 and i guess had a reality check. We were dating for 2 years and he was telling me how he feels old etc.
then BOOM..we broke up but it was bitter sweet.
He tells me how much he loves me and how hard it is and how amazing i am and how much he wishes he was 25 so he could marry me right now etc.
but his mind is made up aboutthe breakup and even though i tried talking about it he gets mad. so i have to leave it
should i just leave him and give himhis space and let him figure things out?
Its so tough. I saw him 2 weeks ago (we broke up on feb 1st) and he cant stop hugging me and treating me like his gf again when we see each other...open my door, kiss my hands, my nose etc.
We are also both in ourr 4th year of university as well
Honestly, the relationship was so mature and great. Even he admitted that when he was talking about it..sad ofcourse.
We hvant talked since Valentines day and its hard because we talked everyday for a 2 years.But that was his choice. I alwtas told him no pressure if he doenst have the time to text or call but for 2 years he always texted me ';goodnight love';.. I know he still loves me and still cares. The last 2 times i saw him he couldnt let go of me and couldnt stop telling me that yet didnt want to talk about why he wants this.
ok, so its been a month and he saw my a university the other day and i waved to him...he came up to me and hugged me for the longest time and kissed my forehead. I was confused!! he sent me a msg later that night saying ti was good to see me and that he enjoyed the hug he also said that if we had started dating when we were 24/25 i would have been the one. %26amp; that right now he needs to figure himself out first.
i replied and i agreed with him that he needs to figure things out
and that 24/25 thing doesnt matter as you cannot time things like that.
I wished him luck in his studies and everything
do you think i handled it well?!?!?!
ok its been about a month and half since the break up. I saw him on the bus at university on friday and said hi to him he grabbed me adn hugged me adn kissed my forehead. When we were tlaking he kept saying how excited he is his car is running and kept asking me what im doing this weekend. He was making fun of me sometimes too %26amp; hugged me. You know the usual stuff when we were dating. He seemed really happy to see me though, Then as he was getting off the bus he said that if him and his friend go out this weekend that i shoul come out with them. I dont think they ended up going out but im really confused as to waht he wants. Clearly he still misses me but isnt really doing anything :S But, its a good feeling to know he's still so nice you know. Im just kinda torn between fully focusing on moving on or giving it time. Moving on would be awkward though since the whole relationship up until that point was filled wiht fun and laughter :)Please answer:( Over 20.Your advice would be soo great right now people.Sorry, kind of long.?
Just follow what he wants.
I think it's for the best to give yourself and him a break!
It's always for the best to take some time off..
And always remember that if he comes back then he's forever yours, but if he doesn't then it was never meant to be!
And believe in it!
Good luck and hope this helps! ^__^Please answer:( Over 20.Your advice would be soo great right now people.Sorry, kind of long.?
You're right. Much too long.
Relationships are going to come and go in your life. Even the ones you stay with are different as time goes along.
Sounds like you handled things well in this case. There's rarely any point in burning bridges.
Move on.
Ok i'm 27 and read the whole story lol.
It sounds to me like he is a little immature, splitting up with you because he isn't old enough?, that is a bit silly i think, i also think he wants to be single but really likes you, so he wants the best of both worlds, this kissing and hugging thing isn't helping either of you, that needs to stop, fair enough a hug is ok but the way you were describing it, seems strange for 'friends'.
It's hard for a man to stay friends with a woman he has been in love with, men are more insecure than you might think.
You have to distance yourself from him and move on, the longer this goes on the harder it's gonna be for you both, so do the hard awkward thing and end it, tell him you don't want to hear from him and that you won't reply to any texts or emails etc, after a while it will get easier and you will feel better.
Good Luck
Your situation sounds just like my ex and I. You should most definitely move on. He is being so nice to you because he is probably a nice guy and doesn't want to see someone he loves hurting. He is also probably being friendly and sweet because he is used to your friendship and is having a hard time letting it go; however, it doesn't sound like he's having a hard time letting go of the romantic aspect of your relationship. The whole 24/25 thing is really just an excuse to make himself feel better and to make you feel better about spending two years with him. There is no such excuse if he truly loved you and if he truly wanted to marry you, he would have made it happen, no matter the circumstances. The good news is it sounds like you have a really good head on your shoulders and I'm sure you will find someone that can give you a friendship and a romantic relationship!
give him time, but dont make the effort to talk to him, see him etc. use the time to concentrate on what you want, how you feel and for your university exams.
usually the phrase absence makes the heart grow fonder is very true! if you are always there, he wont have the chance to miss you, and so won't realise if he wants you back properly.
go out with your girlfriends and have fun, but at the end of the day, make it clear to him that he needs to make up his mind and would he like it if you were with another guy, you can't be expected to hold on forever to see if he will want you in years to come.
if you are so serious about each other then whats to stop you getting engaged now? age is just a number, i got engaged at 18 and am extremely happy,
Ok people, this time please give me real advice, no smarta$$ answers..?
last time I ask this question I got all kinds of jokes and bad comments that didnt help, but I also got some really good.
Anyways, like I said before, I been seperated from my girl of 7 years due to all kinds of problems, verbal abuse, liyin, not carin, concentratin at work more, payin attention to my dumb guy friends, but not cheatin. Anyways I been livin at my mom's since a month ago; my girls' aunt pass away like two weeks ago, she call me, and we started gettin closer, more ';ok';, she did told me durin that time ';i want u back, cuz u are showin that you are changin, but give me time to fall in love wit you, cuz i do love u';, but then again last week I acted like an idiot, and put pressure on her for us to get back together, and now we are back to square one again, now she tells me, ';right now i dont know if i want u back'; the same thing that she told me when i move out of the house. Before you go all crazy on me, i know is all my fault, and I want to fix things, we have a son of 2Ok people, this time please give me real advice, no smarta$$ answers..?
first of all no offense, but it is pretty stupid to get mad over you being idiot. i would blame that on her and not you. we all have our moments and acting stupid. your ex should think about what is best for your son and not only herself. since there is a child involved, i think you guys should try and work it out. if you dont have any feelings there, then let it be. no offense, but the only reason she called you was cause she was greaving and needed someone to turn too. she probably wants someone there if she dies. it probably put her life into perspective for her. make sure if you are going to get back together that she likes you, and not because she needes comfort or anything. i dont know why you guys would want to get back together again anyways from all the abuse that is happening. if it is you, then i can understand why she isnt sure if she still loves you. if it is her, then i dont know why she wants to put you through any of that again. well hope i helped. i would be glad to help of email, if you want. good luck!Ok people, this time please give me real advice, no smarta$$ answers..?
Was the cheating and abusing caused by you? If so, then she is better off without you.....It is not a smart azz answer....it is the truth. When ever abuse and cheating is involved...it is better off done.
If it is meant for you two to get back together, you will. I know you want her back and you want her back, right now, but is this what is best for BOTH of you? If you become too pushy, at this point, after all you and her have been through, you will only push her away, more. Actions speak louder than words, so instead of begging for her to come back to you, SHOW her that you have grown up. Sometimes, though, there is no fixing things in a relationship...sometimes, the best thing you can do is to just ''move on'' with living your life. Live your life and surround yourself with friends and family and sooner or later, she will come back to YOU when and if she is ready. If she never comes back, though, at least you will have your family and friends to turn to.
Tell her you want to make things better.
Do romantic things for her like give her real flowers, open doors for her, pull her chair back for her before she sits down, say things like please, thank you, and you're welcome, give her a wallet-sized photo of you to remember you by, offer to watch your son while she gets a professional massage using a gift certificate you gave her, and things like that.
LMAO! Sir the fact that you have a child together means you'll always be in each others lives. However, that does not mean you are meant to be a couple. Her aunt died, she was emotional, you stepped in like captain save em and made her feel better. Again, that does not mean you should be a couple. Clearly neither of you are ready for true love so just be good ';single'; parents to the little one and leave all the complicated relationship stuff behind you. Good luck!
She'll be more interested in you when you stop paying so much attention to her. The moment she figures out you're not wondering what she's up to....she'll be wondering what you're up to.
If she doesn't....you're better off without her.
Either way...enjoy life! DONT spend yer days driving yourself crazy over her. You'll be sorry that you did.
to start with the two of you need to be honest with each other on how you feel about each other. and don't let anyone say anything to get in your way. you need to put everything on the line. if you love her tell her so and lisson to her and what she has to say. its bet to get it all out ..
If I were you I'd start the courting process all over again. . . a date at a time, flowers, candy, nice dinner, little specials, etc. You, however, HAVE to hold yourself responsibile for mature, adult behaviour and not vary from that at any time. That's the only way I know you can win this battle.
some people were in lust not love, very easy to mix those to up, i have had girls that i missed like hell but always found a better one, now im happily married to my wife who i met after them all.
she doesn't want you back
She could do a lot better. First. learn English so that people will take you seriously. Secondly, get a vasectomy. Good luck I bet someone else is raising your child.
You need to chill out! Stop pressuring her. Give it time and if it is ment to be it will happen!!!
You need to give her space......7 years is a long time.....and you admitted to it being your fault......So just kick back, stop calling, and trying to get back with her.....Don't call her for a while....She'll notice that you didn't call her verses you calling her....Let her do the calling....I know this may be hard for you to do....but it needs to be done.....If she still cares about you after some time she will find a reason to call you, and when she does call you don't make yourself so available.......tell her you will call her back even if your not busy.....wait 10 minutes then call her back....and be very casual.....then take it from there...........
On the other hand, if she doesn't react on this, count it as a loss and move on brother....Good luck
Well, maybe just kind of keep to yourself for a while. Call her once in a while and talk, don't start begging her back or none of that, jst be her friend. Continue to be a good fathe to your son and if it works out grea if not, you are still a good dad. Best of Luck, one more thing, play a little hard to get, sometimes thats fun!!!!
its time to grow up and know your priorities. if you want your family then you have to fight for it either outside or within yourself. that's how you know if you really care or love this girl as much as you said. commitment is not a yo-yo setup that you could just be good now and the next your friends could just easily pull you away and do stupid things. you should fight your cravings of stupidity, k?
good luck and be smarter this time.
if you moved out seven years ago, how do you have a son of two years with her? Are you sure you're the father?
move into your own place and focus on your career and building a life of your own...stay away from each other for a while.
You guys sound like you've got a lot of things going on - but your most important thing is your son
Ask her to sit down and talk to you - u sound like you want to b with her but things keep happening
Before you talk write down ques that you want to ask her, and the things you 2 need to change to make the relationship work. While you are talking to her you'll be able 2 tell if she really wants to be with you, let her know you don't want this on again off again relationship.
Anyways, like I said before, I been seperated from my girl of 7 years due to all kinds of problems, verbal abuse, liyin, not carin, concentratin at work more, payin attention to my dumb guy friends, but not cheatin. Anyways I been livin at my mom's since a month ago; my girls' aunt pass away like two weeks ago, she call me, and we started gettin closer, more ';ok';, she did told me durin that time ';i want u back, cuz u are showin that you are changin, but give me time to fall in love wit you, cuz i do love u';, but then again last week I acted like an idiot, and put pressure on her for us to get back together, and now we are back to square one again, now she tells me, ';right now i dont know if i want u back'; the same thing that she told me when i move out of the house. Before you go all crazy on me, i know is all my fault, and I want to fix things, we have a son of 2Ok people, this time please give me real advice, no smarta$$ answers..?
first of all no offense, but it is pretty stupid to get mad over you being idiot. i would blame that on her and not you. we all have our moments and acting stupid. your ex should think about what is best for your son and not only herself. since there is a child involved, i think you guys should try and work it out. if you dont have any feelings there, then let it be. no offense, but the only reason she called you was cause she was greaving and needed someone to turn too. she probably wants someone there if she dies. it probably put her life into perspective for her. make sure if you are going to get back together that she likes you, and not because she needes comfort or anything. i dont know why you guys would want to get back together again anyways from all the abuse that is happening. if it is you, then i can understand why she isnt sure if she still loves you. if it is her, then i dont know why she wants to put you through any of that again. well hope i helped. i would be glad to help of email, if you want. good luck!Ok people, this time please give me real advice, no smarta$$ answers..?
Was the cheating and abusing caused by you? If so, then she is better off without you.....It is not a smart azz answer....it is the truth. When ever abuse and cheating is involved...it is better off done.
If it is meant for you two to get back together, you will. I know you want her back and you want her back, right now, but is this what is best for BOTH of you? If you become too pushy, at this point, after all you and her have been through, you will only push her away, more. Actions speak louder than words, so instead of begging for her to come back to you, SHOW her that you have grown up. Sometimes, though, there is no fixing things in a relationship...sometimes, the best thing you can do is to just ''move on'' with living your life. Live your life and surround yourself with friends and family and sooner or later, she will come back to YOU when and if she is ready. If she never comes back, though, at least you will have your family and friends to turn to.
Tell her you want to make things better.
Do romantic things for her like give her real flowers, open doors for her, pull her chair back for her before she sits down, say things like please, thank you, and you're welcome, give her a wallet-sized photo of you to remember you by, offer to watch your son while she gets a professional massage using a gift certificate you gave her, and things like that.
LMAO! Sir the fact that you have a child together means you'll always be in each others lives. However, that does not mean you are meant to be a couple. Her aunt died, she was emotional, you stepped in like captain save em and made her feel better. Again, that does not mean you should be a couple. Clearly neither of you are ready for true love so just be good ';single'; parents to the little one and leave all the complicated relationship stuff behind you. Good luck!
She'll be more interested in you when you stop paying so much attention to her. The moment she figures out you're not wondering what she's up to....she'll be wondering what you're up to.
If she doesn't....you're better off without her.
Either way...enjoy life! DONT spend yer days driving yourself crazy over her. You'll be sorry that you did.
to start with the two of you need to be honest with each other on how you feel about each other. and don't let anyone say anything to get in your way. you need to put everything on the line. if you love her tell her so and lisson to her and what she has to say. its bet to get it all out ..
If I were you I'd start the courting process all over again. . . a date at a time, flowers, candy, nice dinner, little specials, etc. You, however, HAVE to hold yourself responsibile for mature, adult behaviour and not vary from that at any time. That's the only way I know you can win this battle.
some people were in lust not love, very easy to mix those to up, i have had girls that i missed like hell but always found a better one, now im happily married to my wife who i met after them all.
she doesn't want you back
She could do a lot better. First. learn English so that people will take you seriously. Secondly, get a vasectomy. Good luck I bet someone else is raising your child.
You need to chill out! Stop pressuring her. Give it time and if it is ment to be it will happen!!!
You need to give her space......7 years is a long time.....and you admitted to it being your fault......So just kick back, stop calling, and trying to get back with her.....Don't call her for a while....She'll notice that you didn't call her verses you calling her....Let her do the calling....I know this may be hard for you to do....but it needs to be done.....If she still cares about you after some time she will find a reason to call you, and when she does call you don't make yourself so available.......tell her you will call her back even if your not busy.....wait 10 minutes then call her back....and be very casual.....then take it from there...........
On the other hand, if she doesn't react on this, count it as a loss and move on brother....Good luck
Well, maybe just kind of keep to yourself for a while. Call her once in a while and talk, don't start begging her back or none of that, jst be her friend. Continue to be a good fathe to your son and if it works out grea if not, you are still a good dad. Best of Luck, one more thing, play a little hard to get, sometimes thats fun!!!!
its time to grow up and know your priorities. if you want your family then you have to fight for it either outside or within yourself. that's how you know if you really care or love this girl as much as you said. commitment is not a yo-yo setup that you could just be good now and the next your friends could just easily pull you away and do stupid things. you should fight your cravings of stupidity, k?
good luck and be smarter this time.
if you moved out seven years ago, how do you have a son of two years with her? Are you sure you're the father?
move into your own place and focus on your career and building a life of your own...stay away from each other for a while.
You guys sound like you've got a lot of things going on - but your most important thing is your son
Ask her to sit down and talk to you - u sound like you want to b with her but things keep happening
Before you talk write down ques that you want to ask her, and the things you 2 need to change to make the relationship work. While you are talking to her you'll be able 2 tell if she really wants to be with you, let her know you don't want this on again off again relationship.
Need advice on the Guest list.... what do do about people you work with??
OK, here the deal. I work with 2 girls in my office that I am friends with and hang out with outside of work- I really like them so I am inviting them. I am very close to a sale rep who works in our company but not our office so I am inviting her and her husband.
I work for a private company so I have boss and his secretary who is also kind of my boss because she does everything for the owner.
I wouldn't mind inviting my them BUT then I would have invited pretty much everyone I work with except 1 person. I absolutely hate this person, she is the devil and pure evil. She even tattle told on my and tried to get me fired!!! The kicker is she did it before she took her two week vacation!!! Thinking they would fire me and she won't have to see me when she got back. But to her surprise, I was still there, this was last year.
So I want to invite these 3 woman.... should I suck it up and invite Satan with the rest of my work?? or say SCREW IT and just invite my co-worker friends??!Need advice on the Guest list.... what do do about people you work with??
Just invite your two friends that you are close with. Ask them to keep mum about the wedding. There is no sense in inviting the wicker witch,... you willfeel unconfortable at your own wedding knowing that teh backstabber is eating your food and drinking your booze.
I say, screw it and invite only your two friends.
Good luckNeed advice on the Guest list.... what do do about people you work with??
I look at work like this. It's work, its all business and nothing personal. If I make a friend or two along the way, great! There is always room for more friends. Just as in your case.
My favorite saying '; i'll walk all over you on the way up and I'll walk all over you on the way down';
This girl doesn't care about you. She tried to get you fired. She doesn't like you. So why in the world would you even invite her to something as special as your wedding?
I say , ** No way ** and who cares what she thinks. She tried to screw you over.. the heck with her. You're wedding is your time and has nothing to do with business.
Invite everyone except the mean girl. She doesn't deserve to be at your wedding. This is your special day dont have it ruined by her. There is nothing wrong with you inviting your boss it will be up to her to go. Im sure she knows about the wedding and will be happy to get an invitation. To the mean girl give her one that say you are not invited to celebrate my wedding. Congratulations and good luck...me
You don't want to make it blatently obvious that you favor some people over others...the work-place is an all or nothing deal. If you're going to invite a few, then it is better to invite everyone. If that kind of number doesn't work for your budget, then you're better off not inviting anyone.
Invite your boss and the co-workers you only really want to support you on this day.
I think that it is okay to invite everyone else expect her. She purposely did something to hurt you so forget her. Besides, you are supposed to have people that support you and care about you at your wedding which would automatically exclude her. Good luck!
yes invite your boss, theres not a more pristine honor you can give them by inviting them. About the office winch just don't invite her, obviously she doesn't like you and you don't like her, so there won't be any hurt feelings. But if you still feel guilty still give out individual invitations to everyone and post an office one for everyone so she doesn't feel left out, but she probably won't come anyways.
If it were me, I would just invite those close friends. There is no need to invite your whole work to your wedding. They're not your friends, they are your co-workers. If someone gets offended, too bad for them.
I work for a private company so I have boss and his secretary who is also kind of my boss because she does everything for the owner.
I wouldn't mind inviting my them BUT then I would have invited pretty much everyone I work with except 1 person. I absolutely hate this person, she is the devil and pure evil. She even tattle told on my and tried to get me fired!!! The kicker is she did it before she took her two week vacation!!! Thinking they would fire me and she won't have to see me when she got back. But to her surprise, I was still there, this was last year.
So I want to invite these 3 woman.... should I suck it up and invite Satan with the rest of my work?? or say SCREW IT and just invite my co-worker friends??!Need advice on the Guest list.... what do do about people you work with??
Just invite your two friends that you are close with. Ask them to keep mum about the wedding. There is no sense in inviting the wicker witch,... you willfeel unconfortable at your own wedding knowing that teh backstabber is eating your food and drinking your booze.
I say, screw it and invite only your two friends.
Good luckNeed advice on the Guest list.... what do do about people you work with??
I look at work like this. It's work, its all business and nothing personal. If I make a friend or two along the way, great! There is always room for more friends. Just as in your case.
My favorite saying '; i'll walk all over you on the way up and I'll walk all over you on the way down';
This girl doesn't care about you. She tried to get you fired. She doesn't like you. So why in the world would you even invite her to something as special as your wedding?
I say , ** No way ** and who cares what she thinks. She tried to screw you over.. the heck with her. You're wedding is your time and has nothing to do with business.
Invite everyone except the mean girl. She doesn't deserve to be at your wedding. This is your special day dont have it ruined by her. There is nothing wrong with you inviting your boss it will be up to her to go. Im sure she knows about the wedding and will be happy to get an invitation. To the mean girl give her one that say you are not invited to celebrate my wedding. Congratulations and good luck...me
You don't want to make it blatently obvious that you favor some people over others...the work-place is an all or nothing deal. If you're going to invite a few, then it is better to invite everyone. If that kind of number doesn't work for your budget, then you're better off not inviting anyone.
Invite your boss and the co-workers you only really want to support you on this day.
I think that it is okay to invite everyone else expect her. She purposely did something to hurt you so forget her. Besides, you are supposed to have people that support you and care about you at your wedding which would automatically exclude her. Good luck!
yes invite your boss, theres not a more pristine honor you can give them by inviting them. About the office winch just don't invite her, obviously she doesn't like you and you don't like her, so there won't be any hurt feelings. But if you still feel guilty still give out individual invitations to everyone and post an office one for everyone so she doesn't feel left out, but she probably won't come anyways.
If it were me, I would just invite those close friends. There is no need to invite your whole work to your wedding. They're not your friends, they are your co-workers. If someone gets offended, too bad for them.
People who are or have waited for sex till marriage, how far do you go? When do you stop? Advice please!!!!?
Although, both of us are not virgins, my boyfriend and me are waiting till marriage to have sex. And we have now been going out for almost a year. I want to know how far is right to go sexually. What are your experiences? How do you fight off temptations? when or where is the best time to stop so ?People who are or have waited for sex till marriage, how far do you go? When do you stop? Advice please!!!!?
Its extremely easy to give in unless you put plenty of space between you and sex. I know a lot of people who abstain before marriage, and this is what they commonly do:
Most importantly no more than light kissing (no frenching, not longer than 10 sec)
Make sure others know about it, even promise you'll call them if you ever do it (it works)
Don't lay down near each other
Don't snuggle or lay together under a blanket
Don't stay anywhere that's dark (tv at home, parked car)
Don't linger in privacy, save intimate talks for public places
Avoid tempting clothes, including low cut, shoulderless, belly-showing, or short skirt/shorts.
Some advice from Gordon B. Hinckley, president of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day saints: ';Petting frequently leads to [sex]... it has done so with thousands...'; He has also said that even the best man and women will give in to temptation if left alone in a dark parked car long enough.
I'm abstaining until marriage too. Good luck!People who are or have waited for sex till marriage, how far do you go? When do you stop? Advice please!!!!?
Don't put yourself in a situation in which you feel that you will both be tempted to have sex (ie. go on group dates, don't spend too much time alone, etc), if you do feel tempted, spend some time apart (not like on a break) but kinda just giving each other some space, also work on the frendship portion of your relationship (most of the time true friends ont pressure each other for sex)...other than that the rest is up to your better judgement...
just dont
I'm not married yet, but I'm waiting to have sex until I get married and I've gotten pretty good at the whole abstinence thing.
First, you have to tell your boyfriend that you are serious and make sure that he is taking you seriously. Then, you can't be stupid. You have to realize that invitations such as spending the night at their beach hosue without their parents around is, in the male speech, asking you to have sex with them. So, if they ask you if you want to stay with them at their beach house, say, ';Can I bring my best friend along, too?'; And watch their reaction as they realize you aren't on the same page. (Boys are very silly creatures. They really, really, really want sex. But the nice ones will wait for you. And they're the only ones worth having.)
Some tactics that work for me are enlisting my roommate. My boyfriend, my roomie and I watch a movie together and then she leaves to go get coffee or something, and we make out - but it's not enough time to have sex. Or, We're at his house and I text her to call me in ten minutes, come into the room in ten minutes. Or, to give my roommate a break, I just text another friend. Or, I go to my boyfriend's house, when his mom is home, and we both know that we can't do anything when she's home.
Basically, it's all about keeping yourself out of that situation - because face it, if you and your boyfriend were left on an island like the one in Pirates, you'd end up having sex sooner or later, especially with all the rum. Oh, and that's another thing - don't get drunk, because it makes you horny.
And that's all my advice. I hope it helps.
Its extremely easy to give in unless you put plenty of space between you and sex. I know a lot of people who abstain before marriage, and this is what they commonly do:
Most importantly no more than light kissing (no frenching, not longer than 10 sec)
Make sure others know about it, even promise you'll call them if you ever do it (it works)
Don't lay down near each other
Don't snuggle or lay together under a blanket
Don't stay anywhere that's dark (tv at home, parked car)
Don't linger in privacy, save intimate talks for public places
Avoid tempting clothes, including low cut, shoulderless, belly-showing, or short skirt/shorts.
Some advice from Gordon B. Hinckley, president of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day saints: ';Petting frequently leads to [sex]... it has done so with thousands...'; He has also said that even the best man and women will give in to temptation if left alone in a dark parked car long enough.
I'm abstaining until marriage too. Good luck!People who are or have waited for sex till marriage, how far do you go? When do you stop? Advice please!!!!?
Don't put yourself in a situation in which you feel that you will both be tempted to have sex (ie. go on group dates, don't spend too much time alone, etc), if you do feel tempted, spend some time apart (not like on a break) but kinda just giving each other some space, also work on the frendship portion of your relationship (most of the time true friends ont pressure each other for sex)...other than that the rest is up to your better judgement...
just dont
I'm not married yet, but I'm waiting to have sex until I get married and I've gotten pretty good at the whole abstinence thing.
First, you have to tell your boyfriend that you are serious and make sure that he is taking you seriously. Then, you can't be stupid. You have to realize that invitations such as spending the night at their beach hosue without their parents around is, in the male speech, asking you to have sex with them. So, if they ask you if you want to stay with them at their beach house, say, ';Can I bring my best friend along, too?'; And watch their reaction as they realize you aren't on the same page. (Boys are very silly creatures. They really, really, really want sex. But the nice ones will wait for you. And they're the only ones worth having.)
Some tactics that work for me are enlisting my roommate. My boyfriend, my roomie and I watch a movie together and then she leaves to go get coffee or something, and we make out - but it's not enough time to have sex. Or, We're at his house and I text her to call me in ten minutes, come into the room in ten minutes. Or, to give my roommate a break, I just text another friend. Or, I go to my boyfriend's house, when his mom is home, and we both know that we can't do anything when she's home.
Basically, it's all about keeping yourself out of that situation - because face it, if you and your boyfriend were left on an island like the one in Pirates, you'd end up having sex sooner or later, especially with all the rum. Oh, and that's another thing - don't get drunk, because it makes you horny.
And that's all my advice. I hope it helps.
Need some advice on how to make $600.00 stretch for two people each month for food?
My wife and I have decided to spend only $600.00 a month on groceries for us. Will it be enough?
We have spent over $800.00 a month and want to cut back. This will add an extra $200.00 to our savings each month.
Can it be done without starving ourselves to death?Need some advice on how to make $600.00 stretch for two people each month for food?
600 a month for 2 people is plenty.Need some advice on how to make $600.00 stretch for two people each month for food?
You need that much to eat...is this also going out and having meals at restaurants? When I was married we did not spend $200 every two weeks on groceries, I learned to plan for what we ate more often than not and got that...usually buying the generic foods rather than the name brand because they were usually the cheapest to get and most times were better tasting. Use of coupons are good as well when buying food....but $600 is too much to be spending on food alone...what about cleaning supplies, medications, hygene items, clothing that is needed every now and again, shoes, paper good and other things...do you just not spend that much on this...you could cut your groceries down to $300 per month and save even more.
How much do you guys eat?? I spend about $100-$150 a week on groceries for the two of us, and I buy everything I want. So, worst case scenario, I end up spending about $600/mo. on groceries. We don't go out to eat much, maybe a couple of times a month. If I wanted to actually *save* money... Well, I would probably make sure to stock up on items that are on sale (right now, I buy just enough to last us for a week - week and a half). I'd plan my menu better - i.e., I would try and plan to make dishes that used the ingredients I already had on hand, for example - or make more food and freeze for later. I'd definitely cut back on the unnecessary crap like cookies, chips, sodas and the like. I'd shop for produce at the farmers market instead of at the grocery store. We'd order less pizza. These just a few things I would try, just off the top of my head.
P.S. Yeah, we have 3 cats, too, and I probably spend $50/month just on cat litter and food.
Yes, it can be. The trick will be to make a shopping list and stick to it. Avoid impulse buying, processed ';ready-to-eat'; foods, and snack foods like chips, candy and soda. Be sure to read the supermarket sales ads and buy more than one item you know you will use when it is on sale.
Budgets like this are great because not only do you save money, but cutting back on the junk food will improve your health and appearance as well.
Absolutely it's possible . I have fed 4 on just $300.00 a month .
Hamburger . Buy in large quantities , it is cheaper that way .
With hamburger you can make so many things . Example . Spaghetti , meatloaf , taco's , hamburger helper , chili , chili mac , and much more . Chicken . Fried chicken , chicken %26amp; noodles , chicken fried rice , burritos made with chicken or hamburger .
For vegetables and canned fruits buy the off brand . It is just as good and cost 1/2 as much .
The possibilities are endless .
Good luck
Good heavens! Where do you live? We live in downtown Chicago, so it's not an inexpensive place. For two of us we spend about $450 a month on groceries (food and paper products, sundries, cleaning supplies, etc.), and eat quite well (fresh fruits and vegetables, meat, eggs, very few processed foods). However, we don't eat out very often. If your food budget is going to restaurants, cut back there.
Sure it can be done. Eat in not out. Borrow recipe books from the library and make a list of ingredients. Buy in bulk stuff you'll need lots of - flour, canned tomatoes and so on. You could also join a community kitchen, where you share resources, learn cooking skills and get to take home a share of whatever is made. It's a discipline to cook every day but you'll look and feel better AND save money.
It certainly can be done. Tips:
1. Eat out less. Preparing your own food is far, far less expensive.
2. Get a membership in a warehouse grocery, because the prices are so much lower, it will pay for itself.
3. Don't be afraid of generic brands. Many of them are actually brand quality with generic labels slapped on them to sell more (shh, don't tell).
PS - It's nice to see you write a sincere question here.
yes I have a family of 4 and our budget is less than $600./ month
We eat quite well on about $100./ week
the tips are simple
1. do not buy junk food
2. buy fruits %26amp; veggies ( make sure you eat them)
3. cut soda( cokes,ect) out
4. try to not buy the premade just heat %26amp; eat stuff it costs a lot more and really does not save much time.
5. shop w/ cupons %26amp; sale ads, you will get better variety
omg i can do that for me hubby and our 4 kids.. so yes of course you can do that...
i spend about $200 or a little more every two weeks and that lasts us pretty good.. just depends what you buy and how many dishes you get with one thing... like a package of chicken thighs i can make 2 or even 3 entrees with that... my kids are still young so we're good for the moment...
yes you can do it without starving
are you kidding??!! My BF and I have 2 boys, 3 cats, a dog, a baby on the way and other small pets........feeding all of us plus the pets we only spend about $100 a week and sometimes even skip a week of shopping here or there except for milk, bread, eggs. We would be eating like kings on $600/mo. !!
What the heck are you guys eating????????? i feed 7 people a month for about $800.00, they are full meals that consist of different variations of food. How much can you guys eat??????? people don't live to eat, they eat to live. Stop indulging in the crap you really don't need, and dont be fooled by organic stuff either, they are ridicoulsly over priced.
OMG I spend $600 a month for 3 people and a dog and that includes stuff that is not edible like shampoo, toliet paper, paper towels, dog food, etc.
goodness $600 should be plenty for only 2
PS--and I got a big dog 85 pounds
get real the two of us spend 400 a month eat steak etc and wine with our meals unless your making 100k a year cut back we make 50 and eat healthy and well i think you should donate 200 a month to the local food pantry we do
Dude how much do you two eat?
Wow.................
Give up the lobster i guess
OMG!! how much do you two eat??
We use $500 a month for three people.
Stop eating sirloin steak and lobster bisque and learn how to budget.
My boyfriend and I only spend $500-$600 per month on food for both of us and we are certainly nstarving....so you shouldn't have a problem...may have to skip the name brands here and there but it can definitely be done.
do you have children? The average for a family of 4 is $450 a month on food...
I would hope so. My wife and I eat very healthy and spend less than that.
My gosh! That's $150/week! What in the world are you people eating? I feed myself, my husband, 2 kids, 2 dogs, 2 cats and 6 fish on less than $400 when I have to. We are far from starving!
Easy.
I have lived on 50.00 for food and gas for one week.
Enough is what YOU think it is. If you want to save you have to pay the price of your food choices.
im barely feeding well three people on less than 400 per month.
and now, worrying that food stamps are next cuz utilities arent being paid so we can eat. i think you can do well with 600
That is more than enough for two people just for food.
Try to eat in as much as possible and eat Breakfast for Dinner twice a week. It will save a lot of money =)
Hope This Helps!
i have a family of six and only spend around this amount.
what the heck are you eating?
We spend less than that, and that's with going out to eat at least twice a week. It's not hard at all.
If two people can't survive on $600.00 food allowance, you need to get rid of the Elephants at the dinner table. That's a couple of over eating DOLTS!
we are 2, with animals, cats %26amp; dogs and eat very well on less than $400.00 a month.
We go to stores with lower pricing and bulk foods
bargain hunting is a blast, when you save money
Are you kidding? We spend about $500 a month on three of us - in Connecticut of all places...if you two can't feed yourselves on $600 a month there is no hope...
We have spent over $800.00 a month and want to cut back. This will add an extra $200.00 to our savings each month.
Can it be done without starving ourselves to death?Need some advice on how to make $600.00 stretch for two people each month for food?
600 a month for 2 people is plenty.Need some advice on how to make $600.00 stretch for two people each month for food?
You need that much to eat...is this also going out and having meals at restaurants? When I was married we did not spend $200 every two weeks on groceries, I learned to plan for what we ate more often than not and got that...usually buying the generic foods rather than the name brand because they were usually the cheapest to get and most times were better tasting. Use of coupons are good as well when buying food....but $600 is too much to be spending on food alone...what about cleaning supplies, medications, hygene items, clothing that is needed every now and again, shoes, paper good and other things...do you just not spend that much on this...you could cut your groceries down to $300 per month and save even more.
How much do you guys eat?? I spend about $100-$150 a week on groceries for the two of us, and I buy everything I want. So, worst case scenario, I end up spending about $600/mo. on groceries. We don't go out to eat much, maybe a couple of times a month. If I wanted to actually *save* money... Well, I would probably make sure to stock up on items that are on sale (right now, I buy just enough to last us for a week - week and a half). I'd plan my menu better - i.e., I would try and plan to make dishes that used the ingredients I already had on hand, for example - or make more food and freeze for later. I'd definitely cut back on the unnecessary crap like cookies, chips, sodas and the like. I'd shop for produce at the farmers market instead of at the grocery store. We'd order less pizza. These just a few things I would try, just off the top of my head.
P.S. Yeah, we have 3 cats, too, and I probably spend $50/month just on cat litter and food.
Yes, it can be. The trick will be to make a shopping list and stick to it. Avoid impulse buying, processed ';ready-to-eat'; foods, and snack foods like chips, candy and soda. Be sure to read the supermarket sales ads and buy more than one item you know you will use when it is on sale.
Budgets like this are great because not only do you save money, but cutting back on the junk food will improve your health and appearance as well.
Absolutely it's possible . I have fed 4 on just $300.00 a month .
Hamburger . Buy in large quantities , it is cheaper that way .
With hamburger you can make so many things . Example . Spaghetti , meatloaf , taco's , hamburger helper , chili , chili mac , and much more . Chicken . Fried chicken , chicken %26amp; noodles , chicken fried rice , burritos made with chicken or hamburger .
For vegetables and canned fruits buy the off brand . It is just as good and cost 1/2 as much .
The possibilities are endless .
Good luck
Good heavens! Where do you live? We live in downtown Chicago, so it's not an inexpensive place. For two of us we spend about $450 a month on groceries (food and paper products, sundries, cleaning supplies, etc.), and eat quite well (fresh fruits and vegetables, meat, eggs, very few processed foods). However, we don't eat out very often. If your food budget is going to restaurants, cut back there.
Sure it can be done. Eat in not out. Borrow recipe books from the library and make a list of ingredients. Buy in bulk stuff you'll need lots of - flour, canned tomatoes and so on. You could also join a community kitchen, where you share resources, learn cooking skills and get to take home a share of whatever is made. It's a discipline to cook every day but you'll look and feel better AND save money.
It certainly can be done. Tips:
1. Eat out less. Preparing your own food is far, far less expensive.
2. Get a membership in a warehouse grocery, because the prices are so much lower, it will pay for itself.
3. Don't be afraid of generic brands. Many of them are actually brand quality with generic labels slapped on them to sell more (shh, don't tell).
PS - It's nice to see you write a sincere question here.
yes I have a family of 4 and our budget is less than $600./ month
We eat quite well on about $100./ week
the tips are simple
1. do not buy junk food
2. buy fruits %26amp; veggies ( make sure you eat them)
3. cut soda( cokes,ect) out
4. try to not buy the premade just heat %26amp; eat stuff it costs a lot more and really does not save much time.
5. shop w/ cupons %26amp; sale ads, you will get better variety
omg i can do that for me hubby and our 4 kids.. so yes of course you can do that...
i spend about $200 or a little more every two weeks and that lasts us pretty good.. just depends what you buy and how many dishes you get with one thing... like a package of chicken thighs i can make 2 or even 3 entrees with that... my kids are still young so we're good for the moment...
yes you can do it without starving
are you kidding??!! My BF and I have 2 boys, 3 cats, a dog, a baby on the way and other small pets........feeding all of us plus the pets we only spend about $100 a week and sometimes even skip a week of shopping here or there except for milk, bread, eggs. We would be eating like kings on $600/mo. !!
What the heck are you guys eating????????? i feed 7 people a month for about $800.00, they are full meals that consist of different variations of food. How much can you guys eat??????? people don't live to eat, they eat to live. Stop indulging in the crap you really don't need, and dont be fooled by organic stuff either, they are ridicoulsly over priced.
OMG I spend $600 a month for 3 people and a dog and that includes stuff that is not edible like shampoo, toliet paper, paper towels, dog food, etc.
goodness $600 should be plenty for only 2
PS--and I got a big dog 85 pounds
get real the two of us spend 400 a month eat steak etc and wine with our meals unless your making 100k a year cut back we make 50 and eat healthy and well i think you should donate 200 a month to the local food pantry we do
Dude how much do you two eat?
Wow.................
Give up the lobster i guess
OMG!! how much do you two eat??
We use $500 a month for three people.
Stop eating sirloin steak and lobster bisque and learn how to budget.
My boyfriend and I only spend $500-$600 per month on food for both of us and we are certainly nstarving....so you shouldn't have a problem...may have to skip the name brands here and there but it can definitely be done.
do you have children? The average for a family of 4 is $450 a month on food...
I would hope so. My wife and I eat very healthy and spend less than that.
My gosh! That's $150/week! What in the world are you people eating? I feed myself, my husband, 2 kids, 2 dogs, 2 cats and 6 fish on less than $400 when I have to. We are far from starving!
Easy.
I have lived on 50.00 for food and gas for one week.
Enough is what YOU think it is. If you want to save you have to pay the price of your food choices.
im barely feeding well three people on less than 400 per month.
and now, worrying that food stamps are next cuz utilities arent being paid so we can eat. i think you can do well with 600
That is more than enough for two people just for food.
Try to eat in as much as possible and eat Breakfast for Dinner twice a week. It will save a lot of money =)
Hope This Helps!
i have a family of six and only spend around this amount.
what the heck are you eating?
We spend less than that, and that's with going out to eat at least twice a week. It's not hard at all.
If two people can't survive on $600.00 food allowance, you need to get rid of the Elephants at the dinner table. That's a couple of over eating DOLTS!
we are 2, with animals, cats %26amp; dogs and eat very well on less than $400.00 a month.
We go to stores with lower pricing and bulk foods
bargain hunting is a blast, when you save money
Are you kidding? We spend about $500 a month on three of us - in Connecticut of all places...if you two can't feed yourselves on $600 a month there is no hope...
Help Nathan!!! he really likes me and im starting to like him. need advice plz! A BUNCH OF PEOPLE PLZ REPLY鈾モ櫏鈾?
Ok well theres this guy name Nathan who is in my p.e class and i guess he has been liking me since school has started. And my friend was telling me that she talked to him on the phone and he said he likes me and he thinks im beatiful and stuff. And today my friend asked him again (my friends always go up to him and ask him if he likes me) if he likes me and he said yes and my friend told him that i think hes cute and i usually point him out to her when i see him. And she told him to ask me out but he said that it dosent seem like i like him because of something about him saying hi and me doing something.. im not sure ahha.
But anyways he might ask me out! But the problem is is that we never talk! all we do is smile and say hi thats it. So is there any way i can talk to him or get his attention or flirt or something haha.Help Nathan!!! he really likes me and im starting to like him. need advice plz! A BUNCH OF PEOPLE PLZ REPLY鈾モ櫏鈾?
You don't need to try to get his attention. You have his attention. He obviously pays a lot of attention to you, but you probably don't notice. I mean if a guy can stand a bunch of girls going up to him all the time asking him the same question than I'm pretty sure he really does like you.
So ways to talk to him:
1) On the phone
2) Send a note
3) In between classes
4) After school
5) Schedule a lunch hour together.
You can talk to him about things you guys are interested in, things at school, whatever to get the conversation started. Than the conversation should flow.Help Nathan!!! he really likes me and im starting to like him. need advice plz! A BUNCH OF PEOPLE PLZ REPLY鈾モ櫏鈾?
Go and talk to him.Start in your pe class, when you guys run or do an activity try to go where he is at and then ask him a question or tell him a comment about the sport or activity you're doing in pe..like Im tired and you';..and then ';how you been';..and start talking to him.. tell me if it works!..Good luck
find something in common or find someone elserefill
But anyways he might ask me out! But the problem is is that we never talk! all we do is smile and say hi thats it. So is there any way i can talk to him or get his attention or flirt or something haha.Help Nathan!!! he really likes me and im starting to like him. need advice plz! A BUNCH OF PEOPLE PLZ REPLY鈾モ櫏鈾?
You don't need to try to get his attention. You have his attention. He obviously pays a lot of attention to you, but you probably don't notice. I mean if a guy can stand a bunch of girls going up to him all the time asking him the same question than I'm pretty sure he really does like you.
So ways to talk to him:
1) On the phone
2) Send a note
3) In between classes
4) After school
5) Schedule a lunch hour together.
You can talk to him about things you guys are interested in, things at school, whatever to get the conversation started. Than the conversation should flow.Help Nathan!!! he really likes me and im starting to like him. need advice plz! A BUNCH OF PEOPLE PLZ REPLY鈾モ櫏鈾?
Go and talk to him.Start in your pe class, when you guys run or do an activity try to go where he is at and then ask him a question or tell him a comment about the sport or activity you're doing in pe..like Im tired and you';..and then ';how you been';..and start talking to him.. tell me if it works!..Good luck
find something in common or find someone else
Doing this for Fiance's mom, please help me out, I need advice for her about irresponsible people.....?
Ok, I need advice. This might be long. READ IT ALL OR DON'T POST.
I live with my Fiance', his mother, little sister, brother, and brother's girlfriend. (Me and my Fiance' are moving out in a few days but that's beside the point). His brother is 24, his brother's girlfriend is 20. Neither have jobs at this point.
The brother and brother's girlfriend are constantly making messes around the house, LARGE messes....leaving piles of clothes all over the place, dirty dishes, things from their room are always in the hallway, the bathroom me and my Fiance' have to share with them is TRASHED. They will NOT clean up their messes. They say they will but never do it, they claim they are depressed and have traumas from being yelled at by the Mom here. The Mom is extremely stressed about to lose the house and they don't pay rent, and she yells at them to clean their messes and they throw it back at her saying how she is traumatizing them into never wanting to come out of their room in fear of getting yelled at. They are extremely complex and we have no idea how to deal with them. I just want to be like ';Wtf clean your mess, the Mom wouldn't yell at you if you didn't make messes';, but I know they would be complicated and say ';Yes she would, she yells at us because she has problems';. When the mom asks them nicely, they say they will do it, then days pass and they never do and she EXPLODES with anger, and they use that against her like ';See! I told you she's crazy!';. The Mom works early in the morning until late at night and they are home all day in their room playing video games, giggling, watching videos when they SHOULD be cleaning up their messes! I have tried talking to them, but they are extremely complex and philosophical, avoiding questions and telling us story after story of times the Mom ';hurt their feelings';, and how they have to be in the ';right mood'; to do things. It's very frustrating. The mother has given them deadlines, but they beg for more time, they have nowhere to go. We have left positive notes of encouragement to clean up messes and they crumble them or turn them upside down to be funny or deface them. The Mother has no money to move out and is actually considering bankruptcy. Whenever I talk with them I end up feeling guilty with their frowns and depressing words! They are manipulative it seems.
The mother has threatened to kick them out, but she doesn't have the heart to kick out her own son. I don't know if I should believe them about being depressed and traumatized. They don't clean up their own messes, it's their responsibility and it's stressing us all out. They are ADULTS for crying out loud!
I am asking for the Mother, I know we are moving, but she isn't! She is stuck with them!
What can we do?Doing this for Fiance's mom, please help me out, I need advice for her about irresponsible people.....?
You can't do anything to help her. She needs to help herself by kicking those lazy bums out of the house. No matter what you say she will still allow them to behave in this manner. You might try offering her a place to stay with you and your boyfriend with the stipulation that the two mess makers will not be welcome, even for a visit. It may ease her stress, give her a chance to get on her feet, and force the two leeches to take responsibility for themselves.Doing this for Fiance's mom, please help me out, I need advice for her about irresponsible people.....?
Tell her that if she loves her son, she will kick him out and make him take care of himself. He needs to learn to grow up. He will never leave on his own. Never.
I agree with the top two answerers. The mother is enabling them and they are manipulative passive aggressive abusers and they are taking advantage of the moms inability to get tough and defend herself.
The problem is simple and unfortunately as long as the mom lets this continue it's her own fault. She should not listen to their ';complex'; arguments because it is all BS. Just a con game they have figured out and they must be dealt with decisively and immediately for the sake of the mother and it is for their own good as well. But their needs are secondary to the moms needs because they are the perpetrators of this injustice and the mom and you are the victims.
Call the sheriff, have them evicted legally. They won't be able to con the police.
As far as you are concerned you need to get out of the situation and they have to deal with it themselves. I understand your concern but you can't know everything that this family went through to get to this point. The mother may have been abusive at some point and is now getting her karma. But whose fault it is is irrelevant at this point. The cycle of abuse must be stopped and there's really nothing you can do until they realize what they are doing is wrong and seek help themselves. We're talking about adults here and they are responsible for themselves. Thank God you are moving out. You can be supportive but don't make it your problem, it's their problem and they have to figure it out.
I live with my Fiance', his mother, little sister, brother, and brother's girlfriend. (Me and my Fiance' are moving out in a few days but that's beside the point). His brother is 24, his brother's girlfriend is 20. Neither have jobs at this point.
The brother and brother's girlfriend are constantly making messes around the house, LARGE messes....leaving piles of clothes all over the place, dirty dishes, things from their room are always in the hallway, the bathroom me and my Fiance' have to share with them is TRASHED. They will NOT clean up their messes. They say they will but never do it, they claim they are depressed and have traumas from being yelled at by the Mom here. The Mom is extremely stressed about to lose the house and they don't pay rent, and she yells at them to clean their messes and they throw it back at her saying how she is traumatizing them into never wanting to come out of their room in fear of getting yelled at. They are extremely complex and we have no idea how to deal with them. I just want to be like ';Wtf clean your mess, the Mom wouldn't yell at you if you didn't make messes';, but I know they would be complicated and say ';Yes she would, she yells at us because she has problems';. When the mom asks them nicely, they say they will do it, then days pass and they never do and she EXPLODES with anger, and they use that against her like ';See! I told you she's crazy!';. The Mom works early in the morning until late at night and they are home all day in their room playing video games, giggling, watching videos when they SHOULD be cleaning up their messes! I have tried talking to them, but they are extremely complex and philosophical, avoiding questions and telling us story after story of times the Mom ';hurt their feelings';, and how they have to be in the ';right mood'; to do things. It's very frustrating. The mother has given them deadlines, but they beg for more time, they have nowhere to go. We have left positive notes of encouragement to clean up messes and they crumble them or turn them upside down to be funny or deface them. The Mother has no money to move out and is actually considering bankruptcy. Whenever I talk with them I end up feeling guilty with their frowns and depressing words! They are manipulative it seems.
The mother has threatened to kick them out, but she doesn't have the heart to kick out her own son. I don't know if I should believe them about being depressed and traumatized. They don't clean up their own messes, it's their responsibility and it's stressing us all out. They are ADULTS for crying out loud!
I am asking for the Mother, I know we are moving, but she isn't! She is stuck with them!
What can we do?Doing this for Fiance's mom, please help me out, I need advice for her about irresponsible people.....?
You can't do anything to help her. She needs to help herself by kicking those lazy bums out of the house. No matter what you say she will still allow them to behave in this manner. You might try offering her a place to stay with you and your boyfriend with the stipulation that the two mess makers will not be welcome, even for a visit. It may ease her stress, give her a chance to get on her feet, and force the two leeches to take responsibility for themselves.Doing this for Fiance's mom, please help me out, I need advice for her about irresponsible people.....?
Tell her that if she loves her son, she will kick him out and make him take care of himself. He needs to learn to grow up. He will never leave on his own. Never.
I agree with the top two answerers. The mother is enabling them and they are manipulative passive aggressive abusers and they are taking advantage of the moms inability to get tough and defend herself.
The problem is simple and unfortunately as long as the mom lets this continue it's her own fault. She should not listen to their ';complex'; arguments because it is all BS. Just a con game they have figured out and they must be dealt with decisively and immediately for the sake of the mother and it is for their own good as well. But their needs are secondary to the moms needs because they are the perpetrators of this injustice and the mom and you are the victims.
Call the sheriff, have them evicted legally. They won't be able to con the police.
As far as you are concerned you need to get out of the situation and they have to deal with it themselves. I understand your concern but you can't know everything that this family went through to get to this point. The mother may have been abusive at some point and is now getting her karma. But whose fault it is is irrelevant at this point. The cycle of abuse must be stopped and there's really nothing you can do until they realize what they are doing is wrong and seek help themselves. We're talking about adults here and they are responsible for themselves. Thank God you are moving out. You can be supportive but don't make it your problem, it's their problem and they have to figure it out.
Plz only serious intelligent people should answer.need good advice. i knew this guy...?
i was not attracted romantically but he had always been attracted to me.I wasn't gona date him cuz even thou our personalities are similar,we are amazingly different at the same time. He is a stereo typical rocker/metalhead right down to the drinking %26amp;drugs %26amp;playing kickass guitar! I'm mature,serious,devoted 2 school%26amp; work%26amp; don't drink/smoke. He%26amp;I were there 4 each other when bad things happened and just over a couple of months we're almost like best friends we just have this amazing connection %26amp; then somehow we started dating.it was very troublesome in the beginning we broke up twice in the 1st week(cuz we felt uncomfy cuz we were like best friends)but always got back 2gether in a day or2.Then his drinking%26amp; smoking really got to me(it never did when we were friends but its different when ur a couple)we broke up(3rd time),we were still good friends, he was sad and told me he wanted me back and he will change.I told him it鈥檚 a bad idea and that its not fair to him to change 4 someone unless he wants to change for himself. and that he did %26amp; didn't do drugs/drink 4 a week, he complained about being sober all the time but also said that he is doing this for us and its important to him. then he did acid %26amp; told me cuz he can鈥檛 lie to me. I can鈥檛 deal with him being f***ed up,I love him no matter what ,I did and always will but he is what he does and its not fair 4 either of us to make a compromise. he is unhappy if he doesn鈥檛 do drugs and I鈥檓 stressed out when he does.and hes also moving away but wants to keep up a long distance relationship.his friends never liked me cauz I鈥檓 too clean 4 them %26amp;him. should I end this for good %26amp;just be friends??i鈥檓 so confused!plz help!!we鈥檝e known each other since august and have been dating for 3 weeks now.i鈥檓 two yrs older than him.he doesn鈥檛 plan on going to school but he works and pays his bills responsibly but also wastes a bunch of money on drugs鈥lz guide me.i don鈥檛 want to lose him or him to be hurt if he doesn鈥檛 have me by his side but I can鈥檛 keep hurting myself by putting up with what I don鈥檛 approve of PLZ HELP!!!Plz only serious intelligent people should answer.need good advice. i knew this guy...?
You know, while it is important to care about other people and the like at times its no good sacrificing your life just to make sure other people feel good and are not hurt, think about your future and do what is good and best for you. Your Dude is an addict and he wont change. You mentioned you are too clean for him and his mates, therefore can conclude is not even your class, ask yourself what you love in the guy, be focused, look beyond immediate things, have ego although too much of this is not good but it matters. My last advice is that get over him and move on, i know u luv the guy, but in life you have to learn to love and let go, there are so many guys out there who are not even on drugs or you can even try me.Hey just hurt him this time for your own good......move on my lady
In future try to be careful, you appear to be too weak to fall in love, how do you honestly love him this much when you only new him in August?Plz only serious intelligent people should answer.need good advice. i knew this guy...?
love is a lie, hunny walk away from him , he's using you to get to six.
find you'r self some other shuger dady
My advice to you would be to move on, you sound like you are a good girl with a good head on your shoulders and a heart of pure gold, why should you throw away what you have worked for when this guy will go back to his old ways soon. I hope you find someone else more deserving of you. Good luck and don't try to raise him it won't work.
Your question is very short.
Make it little long.
Perhapas that will help.
Not me,others only.
I am SERIOUS.
.........cut him loose!..............or yuh gonna end up with a future full of argument's and headache's!.......
Yes Dr Phil drug intervention...
The smart thing is to leave this guy because you would end up in a very unhappy realtionship. Yes in a relatonship there are compromises but don't mix up a compromise with just holding on. He is not a good idea for you and it is good that he is moving away from you so that you could get over him. He needs a rehab centre and you should as his friend advise him since it seems that you are his only friend. Also let him know that the people who are encourage him to take drugs and drink are not his friends. Friends are people that wants the best for you. He would only stop for a while for you and guess what when he gets comfortable with you he would go back to his dirty habits again. Try to make a clean break if he doesn't take your advice because he seems to me that he is a very unambitious slub and no woman needs that in her life. He is not even trying to better himself by going to school to further his education to make a better life. If he really cared about you or living in fact he would have tried to better himself.Things are getting more and more expensive all around us so in the end his wife would be minding him with the little jobs that he could get with his limited education. Try to encourage him to further himself and make him realise that he is wasting his life on things that aren't worth a penny. I feel very sad to read about his story and i hope that he cleans up his act for his own sake not yours or anyone elses.
i dont think you need to be ';together'; to be there for him. you can stay friends just like you were but if your lifestyles are completely different then it will be very hard to be together. you were right about him having to change for himself first and i think you should wait for that to happen before you can be with him on a bigger level. there is no sense in just breaking up every other day. talk to him and tell him you want to be close friends but nothing more - its always a possibility for the future
Honestly, I think you two should remain friends. you two are too different!! Not going to school %26amp; not having or even caring about having a relationship is too big of a deal just ignore, not to mention the drug %26amp; alcohol problem, he even told u it'z hard for him to change, so why would u waist your time or someone like that? especially ';long distance';! It'z just too much, %26amp; u've only dated him for 3 weeks. Liking or loving someone az a friend, doeznt mean u can love/like that person az anything more, keep that in mind, u guyz are too different, hiz friendz don't like u, hiz flawz are BAD, drugs %26amp; alcohol are seriouse stuff, So imagine this, ur dating a drugie, who'z not even there!! It'z just not worth it , it'll never work out, I say stay good friendz %26amp; that it, %26amp; IF he doez change '; while u two are friendz '; then u can give it another chance, that's ';if'; u still felt the same.
Get rid of him he makes you ramble.
such a long question, i struggled reading it all.
here's what i think...you should write down the pros and cons of dating him. if there are more pros, then go for it, if more cons, leave him. especially since he's moving away.
i've dated a drug addict for 2 years and it was just too complicated, one day, he's gonna come to you and ask for money, one day you'll caught him doing something bad just so he could get drugs.
maybe his moving away is a sign that you two are just not meant to be? i don't know, but do write that pros and cons thing i told you about. it'll help you decide.
Move on honey, learn 2 love urself, u r so precious 4 him, move on, when u r near him he couldnt stop doing drugs, do u think that wn u have a long dist. rel.ship, he'll stop. u r so good 4 him %26amp; give urself time %26amp; u'll totally get over him.
My dear friend Jenny.
I know it's the most difficult problem in our life.
But never forget 1 thing- women can do everything.
I believe you can change him , love becomes beautiful when u believe. If u broke, u'll not feel good. Don't do that!
Just know 1 thing u'll be happy, if u fight!
First of all, Lcpl. Burress is right, you're attracted to him for other reason.
Second of all, he is a selffish person. He loves himself more than loving you. He only care for himself, he choose him first. He doesn't worth your love. Think about this. You would change to make him happy. Would he change to make you happy?
if he is used to have drugs you should leave him forever
Why would you want to keep seeing him as miserable as you say you have been with him? He doesn't sound too happy with you either. What good are either one of you getting out of this? It is obvious that he will do drugs and drink until HE is ready to stop. It is just as obvious you will never approve of his lifestyle. Stay friends if you can but forget the dating.
IF YOU NEED TO WRITE THIS LONG
THEN YOU NEED TO GO AN TALK TO
DR.PHIL
Your obviously atrracted to him for some reason maybe the whole bad boy rocker image appeals to you right now and when you get out of school you can settle down
keep him as a friend when he can get away from the life style he has and grows up you two may have a chance but he sounds like a good friend mabey when he moves back to your neck of the woods he will be ready for a relationship
It sounds like you two are better off as friends. You are forcing yourselves to try and make it work, and the keyword is forcing. If it don't come to you smoother or easier, back away from it while you are still friends.
way too long and boreing to read and even think of an answer.
The drug part caught my eye . Stay away from him now and forever
I am going to make this short and sweet. Why do you want to be stupid? He is a bum. You have something going for you. Why do you even want to wipe your feet on him? Move on' go find someone worthy of breathing the same air as you. This guy is on his way down. Don't let him take you with him. Break all ties' Let him go!!!
You know, while it is important to care about other people and the like at times its no good sacrificing your life just to make sure other people feel good and are not hurt, think about your future and do what is good and best for you. Your Dude is an addict and he wont change. You mentioned you are too clean for him and his mates, therefore can conclude is not even your class, ask yourself what you love in the guy, be focused, look beyond immediate things, have ego although too much of this is not good but it matters. My last advice is that get over him and move on, i know u luv the guy, but in life you have to learn to love and let go, there are so many guys out there who are not even on drugs or you can even try me.Hey just hurt him this time for your own good......move on my lady
In future try to be careful, you appear to be too weak to fall in love, how do you honestly love him this much when you only new him in August?Plz only serious intelligent people should answer.need good advice. i knew this guy...?
love is a lie, hunny walk away from him , he's using you to get to six.
find you'r self some other shuger dady
My advice to you would be to move on, you sound like you are a good girl with a good head on your shoulders and a heart of pure gold, why should you throw away what you have worked for when this guy will go back to his old ways soon. I hope you find someone else more deserving of you. Good luck and don't try to raise him it won't work.
Your question is very short.
Make it little long.
Perhapas that will help.
Not me,others only.
I am SERIOUS.
.........cut him loose!..............or yuh gonna end up with a future full of argument's and headache's!.......
Yes Dr Phil drug intervention...
The smart thing is to leave this guy because you would end up in a very unhappy realtionship. Yes in a relatonship there are compromises but don't mix up a compromise with just holding on. He is not a good idea for you and it is good that he is moving away from you so that you could get over him. He needs a rehab centre and you should as his friend advise him since it seems that you are his only friend. Also let him know that the people who are encourage him to take drugs and drink are not his friends. Friends are people that wants the best for you. He would only stop for a while for you and guess what when he gets comfortable with you he would go back to his dirty habits again. Try to make a clean break if he doesn't take your advice because he seems to me that he is a very unambitious slub and no woman needs that in her life. He is not even trying to better himself by going to school to further his education to make a better life. If he really cared about you or living in fact he would have tried to better himself.Things are getting more and more expensive all around us so in the end his wife would be minding him with the little jobs that he could get with his limited education. Try to encourage him to further himself and make him realise that he is wasting his life on things that aren't worth a penny. I feel very sad to read about his story and i hope that he cleans up his act for his own sake not yours or anyone elses.
i dont think you need to be ';together'; to be there for him. you can stay friends just like you were but if your lifestyles are completely different then it will be very hard to be together. you were right about him having to change for himself first and i think you should wait for that to happen before you can be with him on a bigger level. there is no sense in just breaking up every other day. talk to him and tell him you want to be close friends but nothing more - its always a possibility for the future
Honestly, I think you two should remain friends. you two are too different!! Not going to school %26amp; not having or even caring about having a relationship is too big of a deal just ignore, not to mention the drug %26amp; alcohol problem, he even told u it'z hard for him to change, so why would u waist your time or someone like that? especially ';long distance';! It'z just too much, %26amp; u've only dated him for 3 weeks. Liking or loving someone az a friend, doeznt mean u can love/like that person az anything more, keep that in mind, u guyz are too different, hiz friendz don't like u, hiz flawz are BAD, drugs %26amp; alcohol are seriouse stuff, So imagine this, ur dating a drugie, who'z not even there!! It'z just not worth it , it'll never work out, I say stay good friendz %26amp; that it, %26amp; IF he doez change '; while u two are friendz '; then u can give it another chance, that's ';if'; u still felt the same.
Get rid of him he makes you ramble.
such a long question, i struggled reading it all.
here's what i think...you should write down the pros and cons of dating him. if there are more pros, then go for it, if more cons, leave him. especially since he's moving away.
i've dated a drug addict for 2 years and it was just too complicated, one day, he's gonna come to you and ask for money, one day you'll caught him doing something bad just so he could get drugs.
maybe his moving away is a sign that you two are just not meant to be? i don't know, but do write that pros and cons thing i told you about. it'll help you decide.
Move on honey, learn 2 love urself, u r so precious 4 him, move on, when u r near him he couldnt stop doing drugs, do u think that wn u have a long dist. rel.ship, he'll stop. u r so good 4 him %26amp; give urself time %26amp; u'll totally get over him.
My dear friend Jenny.
I know it's the most difficult problem in our life.
But never forget 1 thing- women can do everything.
I believe you can change him , love becomes beautiful when u believe. If u broke, u'll not feel good. Don't do that!
Just know 1 thing u'll be happy, if u fight!
First of all, Lcpl. Burress is right, you're attracted to him for other reason.
Second of all, he is a selffish person. He loves himself more than loving you. He only care for himself, he choose him first. He doesn't worth your love. Think about this. You would change to make him happy. Would he change to make you happy?
if he is used to have drugs you should leave him forever
Why would you want to keep seeing him as miserable as you say you have been with him? He doesn't sound too happy with you either. What good are either one of you getting out of this? It is obvious that he will do drugs and drink until HE is ready to stop. It is just as obvious you will never approve of his lifestyle. Stay friends if you can but forget the dating.
IF YOU NEED TO WRITE THIS LONG
THEN YOU NEED TO GO AN TALK TO
DR.PHIL
Your obviously atrracted to him for some reason maybe the whole bad boy rocker image appeals to you right now and when you get out of school you can settle down
keep him as a friend when he can get away from the life style he has and grows up you two may have a chance but he sounds like a good friend mabey when he moves back to your neck of the woods he will be ready for a relationship
It sounds like you two are better off as friends. You are forcing yourselves to try and make it work, and the keyword is forcing. If it don't come to you smoother or easier, back away from it while you are still friends.
way too long and boreing to read and even think of an answer.
The drug part caught my eye . Stay away from him now and forever
I am going to make this short and sweet. Why do you want to be stupid? He is a bum. You have something going for you. Why do you even want to wipe your feet on him? Move on' go find someone worthy of breathing the same air as you. This guy is on his way down. Don't let him take you with him. Break all ties' Let him go!!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)